IDBiV, Outtakes, Oneshots
by lazykate
Summary: Random outtakes from "I Don't Believe in Vampires." Some lemons, some explanations, some scenes that just didn't fit in the flow of the story. Each outtake will have a spoiler alert/suggested chapter reading.
1. EPOV – The Balcony – June

Hello and welcome to _IDBiV Outtakes, Oneshots_! Here you'll find scenes that either just didn't quite fit into the flow of "I Don't Believe in Vampires," or that fill in the little blanks or questions you may have had here and there. They will not necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll post pre-reading details/suggestions/spoiler alerts before each one. Got a suggestion/request for an outtake? Either leave me a comment or send me a PM! I can't promise I'll be able to write an outtake for all suggestions, but I DO promise to take them all under consideration!

Many thanks and many hugs to the super-beta, Stratan, who is beta-ing this series as well.

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**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Mad props and credit go to the ever-fabulous Joba Rules for suggesting this outtake! It takes place just after Bella moves from La Push to Port Angeles. **You can read it without fear of spoilers after reading Chapter Five of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_.**

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**EPOV – The Balcony – June**

She was so very tired tonight.

I sat unmoving, feeling the faint waves of sheer fatigue that surrounded her as she folded up one last box. She'd moved in two days ago, by herself. Granted, all her belongings were contained in a grand total of six cardboard boxes, three duffel bags, a suitcase, and a couple of large black garbage bags, but still. She'd lugged everything up to her third-floor apartment by herself as I watched from my car in the lot, swinging between relief and indignation that the stupid _dog_ from the reservation hadn't bothered to help her move. I'd wracked my brain trying to figure out a way to conveniently appear and help her, but the predictable phone call from Alice came in, telling me to stay put.

Yesterday she'd gone shopping and came back with boxes and bags from a local home furnishings store. A bed, mattress, and other cheap furniture had been delivered the day before she moved in, so this was apparently the smaller things: kitchen appliances, paper towels, laundry detergent and whatever other things humans needed in their homes.

She'd spent all day today unpacking and organizing. I hid on the roof of the apartment complex… luckily her unit was on the top floor… leaning against an air conditioning unit and listening to her move around below. She started off energetically, and evidently got quite a bit accomplished, based on the waves of satisfaction I felt. As the day went on, however, she slowed down quite a bit, even taking a nap around five o'clock. When she awoke she was so relaxed I caught quite a few thoughts from her mind.

_Chicken noodle soup… damn it, no can opener… order a pizza… finish the bedroom tonight… just want to get it DONE…_

Then she must have seen the mess around her and tensed up, because her mind closed off to me again.

She tackled the bedroom, starting around eight o'clock, by setting up the small television she'd purchased and hanging up clothes in the closet. I was anxious for her to get ready for bed so I could slip quietly into my little hiding spot on the balcony.

I finally heard a rustling of clothes, drawers opening and closing, and then finally the sound of the shower hissing on. Unable to resist another moment, I dropped silently from the roof, landing in a crouch. There was a two-foot stretch of brick wall just to the right of her sliding glass doors on the balcony. The railing was enclosed, and the balcony itself overlooked an alleyway and then the back wall of another building, so I wasn't worried about anyone seeing me. I'd discovered this spot the first night she'd moved in, and made it my own. I could easily sit here undiscovered all night, every night. She had no interest in the balcony since the view was awful, and kept the blinds closed most of the time, but I could easily jump back up to the roof if I heard her footsteps approach.

With the shower still running, I allowed myself a glance inside her bedroom, through a large crack between two of the vertical blinds. She'd done a remarkable job; although still sparse, the bedroom had been neatly organized and a few picture frames even dotted the walls now. The only remaining sign of disarray was a stack of paperback books which were spilled carelessly across the bedspread. I squinted to see the titles, but just then the shower was turned off and I quickly melted back against the brick. Of course the thought flashed across my mind of what I might see if I waited for her to emerge from the bathroom, but I quickly banished it, hating myself for even considering it for a moment.

I vacillated so frequently on my feelings about stalking Bella this way… for what could I call it, but stalking? Sitting on her balcony for the third night now, waiting for the moment when I would hear her breathing even out into sleep, when I could truly relax as I was unable to do during the day. Although I only relaxed long enough for my warring emotions to return and plague me all night long.

I wanted to protect her.

I wanted to respect her privacy.

But I had to be near her.

Right now I could continue to protect her to the best of my abilities, just as I'd done from that first moment I'd realized that Bella Swan was destined to be _mine_; the inexorable pull towards her, finally realizing it was _her_ and not just her blood that tied my soul to her in a way I'd only witnessed second-hand before. I could protect her physically from any external threat, but for the longest time, that included me.

It was only the bombardment of Alice's visions into my brain that had held me back. Visions of Bella and me together. Of her smiling, laughing, and reaching for me with love and trust. My predator instinct and bloodlust suddenly snapping free in an instant. My mouth on her, teeth buried deep in the pulse point of her throat. Her eyes first shocked, then terrified, and then gradually growing blank as life left her. Always some variation on this scenario. Then Alice would cry tearless sobs while the visions wracked her, as I curled up into a ball on the floor, pulling on my hair, hating myself with ever fiber of my unholy being for doing this to my family, for putting an innocent human at such risk.

But I couldn't stay away. I knew we would be together someday, I just didn't know _how_.

Ostensibly, I ignored her at first. I sat beside her in class, not breathing, only speaking to or interacting with her when absolutely necessary. Surreptitiously, I tried to drown myself in her scent in the safest way I knew how, even as the shame of it burnt me to the core. I began to sneak into her home after she left for school in the morning, finding the shirt she'd worn the day before, and taking it with me. She did laundry once a week, I soon discerned, so I was always careful to return it before then. It was like an addiction, the faint scent of _Bella_ on her clothing, in her home, and slowly I began to breathe again in class. Her scent was a thousand times stronger next to me, of course, but now it was _familiar_. Still enthralling, but slightly more manageable.

The end of the school year came and I watched from a distance as she went to work at the Newton store, and overheard her politely but firmly fend off Mike's repeated advances. Having to hear his lewd thoughts about her made me seriously consider tearing his throat out on more than one occasion, but he never acted on any of them, so I ground my teeth together and just watched and listened.

One night, in a particularly weak moment, I climbed the tree outside her window after her soft, regular breathing told me she'd fallen asleep. I had guarded the outside of her home at night regularly, of course, but this was the closest I'd come to it while she was inside. I sat outside her window all night, enthralled by the sight of her sleeping; the slow rise and fall of her chest, the innocent mumblings that gave me no insight whatsoever into her dreams.

On the fourth night of this, however, she'd been exceedingly restless, tossing and turning, twisting the sheets around her legs. It was then that I discovered she was sleeping in only a t-shirt and tiny little cotton shorts. The sight of her long creamy legs was mesmerizing; before I knew it my hand was reaching towards the window, praying it was unlocked.

She tossed her head restlessly, sighed, and then very clearly said my name.

The violent emotions that tore through me in that moment were almost more than I could stand. I knew she talked in her sleep; I'd listened to her jumbled words over the past three nights, but this was so clear, so distinct. It was as though she were calling to me, begging me to come in and hold her, and my fingers immediately went under the sill of the window, ready to wrench it open if it was locked.

I could see her sleeping face then, and the sadness on it startled me. Her lips were turned down slightly, as though she was having an unhappy dream, and her eyelids were flickering madly. Her head turned slightly on the pillow again, now facing me directly. Her lips turned up then, and again she spoke very distinctly: "Edward."

It was a fantasy, my fantasy come to life. Her long hair spread across the pillow, her face relaxed, her lips murmuring my name. I froze for the briefest of moments, drank in the sight of her, memorized every detail of the picture in front of me. After a second, her forehead creased, the relaxation vanished, and now she whispered "No."

A wave of shame came over me, without thinking I threw myself backwards, out of the tree, into the forest surrounding her house. Then I ran, no destination in mind, simply trying to outrun the horror and disgust that was roiling inside of me at the moment.

What would I have done if I'd come across Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley, or any of the other filthy-minded cretins from Forks High, perched in Bella's tree, spying on her like some deranged pervert? I would have snapped his neck in an instant and without a moment's remorse for violating her privacy in such a way, and yet I'd done the very same thing, not once, but four nights in a row. She hadn't invited me there; she would have been horrified if she'd known. How could I ever hope to be worthy of her trust, to hope to _earn_ it, when I'd already betrayed it in such a vile manner?

After some time, I slowed to a walk, and then stopped. That indefinable tug that connected me to Bella pulled sharply, as I'd put so much distance between us. I immediately turned around, pausing only to take down and drain a large elk, and returned to her house. This time I stayed far enough into the forest to somewhat assuage my guilty conscience. I may not have been able to stay away, but I wouldn't watch her again, until she asked me to.

…_So tired…_

This time it was a concrete thought I heard from my spot on the balcony, and it snapped me from my reverie. That night outside her father's house had been almost a year ago. Now, though, I couldn't stay more than a few feet from her at night, even separated by glass, mortar, and brick. The months she'd lived on the reservation had been utterly horrifying to me. Now that I was able to protect her as she slept again, nothing could have dragged me away.

Seeing her shattered at Charlie's funeral had been my turning point. Even Alice had admitted that her visions had taken on progressively more optimistic outcomes since then. Still being careful to hold back, I'd been able to talk to her, to offer her help in class, to make sure she remembered to buy food at lunch. The way she would look at me… the dazed numb look in her eyes would slowly clear, and sometimes a faint smile would touch her lips. It was during a very few of those moments that I discovered I could clearly hear her thoughts when her beautiful brown eyes met mine, and it gave me greater determination to be the man she needed me to be, that she deserved. So much progress, but still Alice warned me _not yet_.

Being able to touch her hand at graduation, just over a week ago, had almost undone me. I could feel the connection between us more strongly than ever, so powerful and all-encompassing that the only words I'd been able to speak to her were "Be safe, Bella." I almost resented Alice for being able to hug her, even as I thrilled to the victory of a simple touch.

So now, here we were, she tasting real independence for the first time, and I keeping silent watch over her, ensuring her safety.

The overhead light switched off, only leaving the lamp on the bedside table. I could hear the shuffling of her sheets as she climbed into bed, and then the muted thump of paper as she stacked the books from the bedcovers onto the bedside table. A brief moment of silence, then a flutter of pages, perhaps a chapter or two of a favorite book before settling down to sleep?

More shuffling as she burrowed down snugly into her bed, and a contented sigh. I shut my eyes and sighed too, reveling in the soft comfort of her mind.

After a moment, a new emotion from her made my eyes pop open. It was a pleasurable sensation that tickled and intrigued me, but one I'd never sensed from her before. Her heart rate had accelerated slightly too. What in the world was this? I tried desperately to get a solid thought from her, but at the moment, I was bombarded only by her feelings. Whatever her thoughts were, they were so pleasurable that, for the moment, I simply relaxed into them, allowed her sensations to guide my own mind.

It wasn't until I felt a stiffening in my groin while simultaneously a soft sigh escaped her that I understood: Bella was aroused.

What in the world was she doing to provoke such a response? She'd been reading, was there a scene in her book that was particularly exciting? For that matter, what _was_ she reading? I hadn't been able to see the covers of the books, but I knew she enjoyed the classics… surely _Wuthering Heights_ wouldn't provoke this kind of response from her?

The minutes ticked on, and the longer she read, the more aroused Bella became. It was as though all the stress and tension from the day melted slowly away from her as she sank deeper into self-indulgence. I myself was stunned into immobility by the raw sensuality radiating from her: I'd had endless fantasies about her, of course, but never once had I experienced similar emotions _from_ her. It was unbelievably erotic, and I eagerly let this new sensation from her envelop me.

I don't know how long I sat there, simply allowing her pleasure to flow over me, when I heard her sigh again and shut the pages of her book. I ran my hand regretfully over the front of my jeans, knowing that relieving my own frustration on Bella's balcony would be wholly inappropriate. Perhaps, as she fell asleep and her physical body calmed, mine would as well.

Bella's lamp clicked off and I swallowed hard, very deliberately crossing my arms across my chest. More soft rustling as she arranged the covers over her, and I shut my eyes, trying to concentrate on anything other than the excitement running wild throughout my body. It only lasted a few seconds before I heard a muted moan come from the bedroom. I jumped to my feet immediately: was she hurt, or sick? No… the pleasure was still there, but this time it was more acute, more focused, and the physical aspect of it was more pronounced as well. This time I recognized it immediately because I'd experienced it myself many times before, and only while thinking of her…

Bella was pleasuring herself.

My first reaction was shock. Although I had certainly _imagined_ something like this, in the fantasies I'd had about Bella and I, it had been just that: a fantasy. Well, certainly a fantasy that I hoped to see come true at some point, but…

Another tiny sigh, just barely audible even with my superior hearing, along with the soft whisper of skin moving against skin. I stopped breathing as realization roared over me and my own arousal, completely separate from Bella's, grew exponentially. I sank slowly back down the wall until I was on my knees, the rough brick scraping against my t-shirt. My hand moved again to the front of my jeans and, before I could form a rational thought, I'd pressed my palm against the erection which was now throbbing insistently. The idea that Bella… _my_ Bella… was just a few feet away, touching herself in a place I'd barely allowed myself to imagine caressing someday… it was too much.

My rational mind crashed back into me at that moment: I had to leave. Surreptitiously listening in on a private moment like this was exploitative; for me to take advantage of her was inexcusable; my own selfishness should never come before…

"Edward…"

When I heard my name slip from her lips, just as it had months before, I pressed myself violently against the brick wall, willing my body to stay where it was. Everything down to the individual cells of my body wanted to rip the sliding glass doors open, pull her to me, and have her cry my name against my lips, to feel her arch under me, to bury myself so deeply inside of her and ravage her body so thoroughly that she would _only_ be able to call my name, to beg me for more even as I took her over and over again…

"Oh God, yes…"

I finally started breathing again with a ragged gasp; years of restraint finally beating a coherent path into my frenzied mind. I couldn't go to her now. It simply was not yet possible. Left with the only available options, I wasn't sure what I wanted more: to be able to see Bella's beautiful body writhing under her own hand, or to relieve myself. To do both was impossible, I knew… I was barely hanging onto my control as it was, and a combination of the two would be impossible to restrain.

"Ahhh… yes, please, yes…"

Her desperate whimpers made my mind up for me; the need to get myself under control was imperative now. Although I wanted to believe that her quiet pleas were truly directed at me, I forced myself to realize that she was reacting to the ministrations of her _own_ hand, not mine. I sucked in a ragged breath and made my decision, still on my knees, my hand moving immediately to the button and zipper of my jeans. There was no way under heaven or above hell that I would be able to move away from this spot now, but I could take the teeth from the monster at the very least.

"Mmm… Edward…" I heard her moan again as I yanked my jeans down as far down to my knees as they would go, until the fabric hit the balcony floor. My boxers went with them, and my erection sprang free, my hand snapping to it immediately. There was nothing in this world right now other than my desperate need to satiate the primal desire inside of me, burning for her, desperate to claim her as _mine_.

Focusing now, forcing every aspect of my mind to concentrate on her as she brought herself to completion, I was totally overwhelmed by the raw intensity of her pleasure. My head fell back to the brick with a thump, and I was faintly amazed she didn't notice. My hand worked steadily over my own length, determined to ground myself in the world she'd spun between us.

Muffled little pants came regularly from her now, and I allowed myself the luxury of imagining exactly what she was doing to herself at that moment… the possibilities of skin and fingers and clutching hands… the endless options available to me… wondering what she was visualizing as my name spilled from her lips more frequently. I felt every spike as her pleasure ratcheted upwards, bringing her closer to climax. I was almost completely detached from my own body as I immersed myself in her pleasure, only allowing myself each clench and tremor as she experienced it first; my only self-indulgence a harsh hiss whenever she moaned my name.

And she did call for me… so often and so desperately that I was thankful that I'd essentially bound myself into place, vowing that I could either have release or I could have nothing at all. By the time she finally abandoned herself to the most exquisite waves of pleasure I'd experienced in my long, lonely life, I was more than ready. When she came, muffling her screams behind clenched teeth and clamped muscles, I allowed myself release as well. The growl that automatically boiled up from deep within me was stifled as I fought to stay silent, to keep every second of this moment focused on Bella.

I heard her cries fade out into faint moans, reluctantly letting go of whatever fantasy she'd created in her mind, so far down that I was unable to hear or sense it. My own head dropped down as I half-collapsed against the balcony railing.

Her moans slowly evened out into the soft, regular breaths to which I was so keenly accustomed, telling me that she'd finally fallen asleep. And as I sat there on her balcony, I realized without a doubt that just as Charlie's funeral had drastically changed my perception of what I knew she needed me to be, that this moment had changed everything about what I wanted _us_ to be, and what I now knew we were capable of.


	2. IDBiV Chapter One EPOV

_Hello and welcome to _IDBiV Outtakes, Oneshots_! Here you'll find scenes that either just didn't quite fit into the flow of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_, or that fill in the little blanks or questions you may have had here and there. They will not necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll post pre-reading details/suggestions/spoiler alerts before each one. Got a suggestion/request for an outtake? Either leave me a comment or send me a PM! I can't promise I'll be able to write an outtake for all suggestions, but I DO promise to take them all into consideration!_

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.**

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This outtake was suggested by pretty much, well, everyone! It's Chapter One of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_ from Edward's POV. As long as you've read that, this will be spoiler-free.

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**Chapter One – EPOV**

I was furious as I made the drive back to Forks. Alice had been beyond insistent on the phone, and I'd found myself without any excuse to stay away.

"She's working tonight anyway, Edward, and Carlisle and Esme both really want you to come. We miss you too, you know."

"I'm where I want to be, Alice," I growled.

"I understand that. But can't you please just trust me? I've been checking her future all day, and she's absolutely fine. Come to the party; make an appearance, you can leave here afterwards and probably still beat her back to the apartment. The party she's working is going to go pretty late."

"Fine," I said finally. "But I'm not wearing a costume."

Alice giggled on the other end of the line. "I knew you wouldn't. Carlisle and Esme will be thrilled that you're coming at all. Just make sure you get here soon, the sun will be out in a bit."

I snapped my phone shut without further comment and leaned back against the air conditioning unit on the roof of Bella's apartment building. I'd known she was working tonight, but I also knew she was unhappy about it. Her mind was shut up so tightly I couldn't catch even a fragment of a thought.

My Bella… in the four and half months I'd been watching over her, I'd become so finely tuned to her moods, her habits, her routines, it sometimes felt as though we were intimate and lovers already.

Yet until I'd centered my entire life on her, she'd been like a two-dimensional being to me. I floated on the periphery of her life, and in return, she was like a beautiful shadow. I'd soon come to realize how very little I knew about Bella Swan. Especially when so much of my mental energy had been absorbed in trying to desensitize myself to her, to keeping her safe.

Now I was more fascinated by her than I'd ever been, but more than that, I _respected_ her. I hadn't realized how brave and strong she was until I watched her square her shoulders and move through this new life with single-minded determination. She rented an apartment and enrolled in classes at Peninsula College with no assistance whatsoever. Two weeks after moving in, she picked up a part-time job with a catering company. I knew from overhearing her phone calls that she'd been left with a substantial amount of money from the sale of Charlie's house and his life insurance policy, and yet she was set on earning her _own_ way.

She was incredibly self-sufficient. She hadn't called maintenance for the little problems in her apartment yet, preferring instead to look up the solution and do it herself.

She was patient and very kind with her flighty mother. Some of the conversations I'd overheard had utterly infuriated me. The phone calls with her mother primarily consisted of Renee babbling on about herself, her husband, her latest hobby, and so on, while Bella listened good-naturedly, occasionally offering a word of advice that Renee unfailingly ignored. Her mother rarely asked about Bella's life or goings-on.

And unfortunately, there wasn't very much to tell. She went to the library fairly often over the summer and worked two or three evenings a week. The Blacks called her every so often, but they never came to visit. Even when school started at the end of August, she would attend her classes, come back to the apartment, do her homework, and occasionally watch television or read before bed. She rarely had friends over; in fact, I got the impression she hadn't really made any in Port Angeles. Her acquaintances from Forks High had completely vanished from her life after graduation.

She was lonely, oh so lonely. She missed her father; she missed the companionship of her friends at La Push. She wasn't the type to admit to her weakness, however, and I never heard her utter a word of complaint. Every once in a while I would hear her crying quietly, and it was those moments that were the most tortuous to me. Even as I was standing, ready to go downstairs and enter the building the proper way, to knock at her door and offer her anything and everything I could, I would get the phone call from Alice. _Not yet_.

It was maddening. The scent of her blood barely even affected me now. It was still pleasurable, but I enjoyed it instead of craving it. It was tied up inexorably with everything _Bella_ in my mind, and that was a singularly beautiful thing. The scent of her body, the sound of her voice, the sweet tenor of her mind, the warm steady pulse that I could feel growing between us. I no longer feared my bloodlust when it came to her; the thought of her injured in any way, a single drop her of her blood spilled, was utterly horrifying to me.

More so, since that first night when I'd overheard her pleasuring herself and calling my name; my entire perception of what I could someday hope to share with her had been turned on its axis. Before, I'd loved her, and yes, fantasized about her, but I'd never truly believed that I would be able to make love to her the way I so desperately wanted to.

The discovery that she was an unabashedly sexual creature had taken me some time to truly accept, but now I knew that sex between us would not only be possible, it would be a certainty. Alice had delicately informed me as much. She explained that I would just need to be mindful of her fragile human body, and that I would have to be tuned into her mind and her responses the entire time. Since I'd spent the past year doing just that, I was thrilled to know I would be able to make love to her when we were both ready.

I still felt pangs of guilt about my behavior: following, watching, and listening to her when she had no idea I was anywhere nearby. I was aware that my actions were those of a deranged stalker at best, and that I deserved to be exposed and vilified for it, but I couldn't stay away from her. There was no power on earth that could tear me away from her. So every night I sat either on her roof or on the balcony, learning more about my beautiful Bella.

During the day I would hunt, occupy myself with mindless errands, and occasionally I would go back to Forks. I disliked being so far away from Bella though, so my visits back home became less and less frequent. My family was surprisingly understanding about my obsession, knowing full well the ties that bind mates together, even if one of the pair was human. I didn't allow myself to think about Bella perhaps one day joining me in immortality, and Alice never volunteered any insight about it either.

Three days before Bella's birthday, I gave in to the final temptation I'd fought for so long and broke into her apartment. This final invasion into her privacy shamed me to my bones, but I'd weakly rationalized that I wanted to be surrounded by her scent, in her home, to see if I could handle being immersed in it instead of staying on the outside edges of it. Picking the lock of the balcony door proved almost too easy after Bella left for her classes.

As I stood surrounded by her familiar scent, I felt _joy_; I felt the tug in my chest that bound me to her throbbing more insistently. I drifted silently around her apartment, looking at the little things she'd done to personalize it, lingering for a long time over the framed photographs of her family. I examined the books she had stacked on her bedside table, I peeked at her shoe size in the closet, and I examined the contents of her refrigerator. I luxuriated in the faint fragrance of her. I felt happy, I felt _hope_.

After I quietly slipped from her apartment the way I came, I received a text from Alice. _Not yet, but soon. I promise_.

I immediately seized on the idea of buying her a birthday present. Even if I had to give it to her late, I wanted to mark the occasion in some small way, especially since I had a suspicion that she didn't have any plans to celebrate. In a small specialty shop I found exactly what I was looking for: a leather-bound journal, lovingly handmade by the proprietor of the shop. The blank smooth pages beckoned to me, I would write down every thought, every moment, every action I'd ever had that led back to her. One day, I would be able to give her this testament to my love.

That night though, I found myself with an inexplicable case of writer's block, something I hadn't even imagined was possible for a vampire. Oh, my conceit, my arrogance… how could I even hope to begin expressing in written word what Bella meant to me, what she had done _to_ me? I sat all night on the balcony, journal open and empty on my lap, realizing that the depth of my feelings wasn't something I could commit to paper. I could factually and objectively detail my activities since the moment she'd walked into my life, but it would be a hollow account without the love behind it, the all-encompassing need for her that had been my life's motivation since then.

In the end, I left the pages blank, and instead wrote a verse I'd heard in passing at some point. I could have chosen Shakespeare or some other bit of traditional love poetry, but this seemed more fitting for what I'd tried, and failed, to express.

_I love you, not for what you are, but what I am, when I am with you.  
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,_

_but what you are making of me. – Roy Croft_

And under that:

_I will love you eternally,_

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen_

I sat quietly after that, thinking about how I'd changed since our first fateful meeting. Even aside from the almost impossible control I'd gained over my bloodlust and my overwhelming desire to be _with_ her, I'd changed in ways I couldn't even articulate to myself. A year and a half ago I'd been brooding, negative, unhappy, and desperately alone. I'd hated myself and my existence. I'd accepted that I would never find the other half of myself.

Even after coming to realize that Bella _was_ my purpose in life, I'd still been frighteningly insecure, still self-loathing, still struggling every day between my desperate need for Bella and the belief that she deserved so much better than a monster like me. Yet I wanted her, and I refused to let her go. It was a paradox that made me sick.

Not until I saw her at her father's funeral, so desperately in need of me, even if she didn't know it, did I realize that she _did_ deserve better than what I could offer at that moment. And whatever Bella wanted or needed, I would move heaven and earth to provide.

Old habits are nearly impossible to change for a vampire, but Bella was my motivation, and that made the difficulty of change easier to deal with. Each time I forced myself not to overreact, to allow Bella to make mistakes, to learn from them, to grow, I felt as though I were learning and growing along with her. It was impossible, but she made me feel more _human_ than I could have ever hoped for again.

Not to say I ever relaxed my vigilance in watching over her. She had an astonishing lack of self-preservation, and her penchant for walking to and from school during nice weather was especially troubling to me. _I_ knew what went on behind the warehouses she passed so innocently by, and on more than one occasion I made sure the filth that loitered there were long gone before she hurried past.

Despite the ways in which I was relaxing and becoming more "normal," if such a thing were possible for a vampire, I still felt anxiety whenever she was in a position where I couldn't watch over her and protect her. When she was at her job was one example, when I was unavoidably called away was another.

Such as tonight. Halloween.

I would go to the party; I would make my family happy. Alice had promised she'd keep checking in on Bella all night.

The utter absurdity of the entire evening was enough to make me laugh a little to myself as I drove from Port Angeles to Forks. A family of vampires was throwing a party on Halloween. A _retirement_ party on Halloween, with costumes no less. From what Alice had told me, Carlisle had been roped into it by the board of directors at the hospital, and there was no graceful way to decline. One of the hazards of trying to live undetected amongst humans was that we sometimes had to acquiesce to their rituals and traditions. It was all part of the charade.

As I pulled up to the house the buzz of mental voices from within hit me and I winced. School had been painful enough with the chatter of people's minds bombarding me all day, and this party would likely be very much the same. I'd grown to enjoy being somewhat alone with Bella over the past few months. When I was around her I found that the other voices receded as I wrapped myself in _her_.

I drove around the house and parked my car in the garage so that no drunken guests would come anywhere near it, and then strolled reluctantly towards the back door. A white delivery van sat there, the name _Classic Creations Catering _emblazoned across the side. I froze and stared at it, blinked, and then the realization hit me like a brick wall: Classic Creations was the name of the business my Bella worked part-time for. And she was working tonight… was it possible she was going to be _here_?

I heard Alice's soft giggle from her room as I burst in the back door, and I ran upstairs as quickly as I could without alerting the people bustling through the house to my movements. Just before I raised my hand to beat on the door, she called out in a sing-song voice. "Come on in, Edward!"

One look at her beaming face and I knew. I knew. And the realization was almost too much to accept.

"When?"

"She'll be here later."

"Will everything…"

"Everything will be fine, Edward. Just don't freak her out… remember, she has no idea that you're even around."

I took a slow breath and then realized that Alice was mentally chanting the lyrics to an obnoxious pop song, her favorite tactic to keep me out of her head. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It will all work out, Edward. I just don't want you to see it before it happens. Bella is already at a disadvantage, I think it's only fair that you feel your way through this based on _her_ responses, not my visions."

"What am I supposed to do?" I demanded.

She shook her head. "No way. You figure it out."

I gritted my teeth. "You'll keep checking, to make sure…"

Alice's eyes softened. "You're not going to hurt her. But yes, I will keep checking. Don't you feel like you can do this now?"

"Yes… but…" I groaned and raked my hand through my hair. "I suppose I'm nervous."

"That's okay too. Just don't scare her, and you'll be fine. Trust me!"

I drifted upstairs to my room. This sort of anticipation was torture; I would rather have had this happen with less build-up, less expectation. I wanted everything to be perfect, but how could I do that? Alice had reminded me that, due to my vigilance, Bella didn't even know if I was still in the state or not. In my mind I knew her inside and out, but she only knew me as her former high school crush.

An hour ticked by, then another. I opened the window of my bedroom and sat on the sill, staring quietly out into the forest beyond. What would happen tonight? Alice hadn't been specific when she gave me the go-ahead, so to speak. Would I only talk to Bella tonight? Touch her? Kiss her?

I felt my frustration mount, but then carefully tamped that feeling back down. I would have to be calm and patient tonight, to focus solely on _Bella_… her comfort with me had to be absolute. If I was only given the opportunity to smile and say hello, I would take it gladly. I'd waited a century for her; surely I could wait however many more days she needed to trust me, to accept what was undeniable between us.

I sat for another hour, thinking over all the ways I could edge back into her life. I could tell her that I was moving to Port Angeles, enrolling at Peninsula College. I could ask for her help in settling in, maybe even inquire if there were any available apartments in her building. I would act like a gentleman and formally ask her for a date. Surely our relationship would progress from there, and things would fall into place. The tug I felt towards her was so strong, I could only assume she felt it at least a little too.

From my perch on the windowsill, I watched as the day slowly began fading away, shadows lengthening. My impatience was threatening to return when I heard the faint roar of her truck as it turned into the long drive from the highway.

I flew immediately to the other side of the house, to a room with windows overlooking the entirety of the drive where it wrapped around the house. I listened to the sound of the ancient truck groaning its steady way through the trees, frowning when I detected a strange note in the engine that hadn't been there before. Was it in danger of breaking down? I made a mental note to pay closer attention to anywhere she went in it, and I would most certainly follow her back to Port Angeles tonight. There were stretches of highway that were very remote and isolated if she were to break down.

I waited, my excitement mounting, as the truck emerged from the forest surrounding the driveway. I watched as she pulled around the house and parked beside the catering van… my Bella was _here_, at my home. She turned off the truck, but sat for some time behind the wheel without moving, and I could feel the faint waves of reluctance and sadness that surrounded her. Her mind was locked up tight against me though, and I again cursed my inability to easily access her mind… why was she so unhappy about being here?

She finally emerged, and I leaned against the wall, greedily devouring her appearance. It was rare that I was ever able to actually _look_ at her now, as I had to be careful to remain unseen. She was dressed all in black, her face pale, her beautiful dark hair wound up into a twist pinned severely into place. Not for the first time, I imagined what it would be like to run my fingers through her hair, to feel her lean into my caress. Her gaze flickered up at the house before she squared her shoulders and marched resolutely inside. I didn't move from the window.

I heard her come in and greet her boss, and I reminded myself again that she was here to work; I couldn't be a distraction to her in any way. Her boss was harried but efficient, and I heard her thoughts relax as Bella began helping her with the final food preparations.

Cars began arriving regularly not too long after that, and a steady buzz of voices grew downstairs. I still stood at the window, not seeing the point in moving until an opportunity arose when I could talk to Bella. Still focused on her, I was startled when I heard Esme's voice in the kitchen, addressing Lori, and then turning her attention to my Bella.

"Bella, dear, how are you doing? I'd heard you moved to Port Angeles?"

Bella was surprised, but recovered quickly and answered her in a low voice. Esme, of course, was delighted at the opportunity to talk to her. Whomever I loved, Esme would love by default.

"That's wonderful, I'm glad to hear it. Edward always spoke so fondly of you, and of course we all dearly miss your father. I'd wondered where your after-school plans had taken you."

I heard her next words in her mind before she could speak them, _Edward is here tonight, you know_, and I jerked in response. "No, Esme," I said quickly, urgently, just loud enough for her to hear.

She stopped herself abruptly, and then I heard her reluctant reply. _All right, Edward, but please come down soon. I just want you to be happy._

She left the kitchen and Bella busied herself again, carefully deflecting Lori's suspicions about her relationship with my family. Things became very hectic after that, and I waited with mounting impatience as I mentally tracked Bella's movements down below. Did she get a break at some point in the evening? Alice had assured me that _tonight_ was it. But _when_ tonight? When she was leaving?

The back door slammed below me and I glanced down to see Lori walk over to the catering van. She leaned up against it and lit a cigarette, inhaling slowly, obviously enjoying a quiet moment. Which meant…

The kitchen was empty.

I moved quickly down the stairs to the second floor, and then more carefully to the first, descending the staircase at human speed. The party was in full-swing now, guests laughing and talking, costumes glittering, the smell of perfume and food heavy in the air. A flash of pink caught my eye: Alice, in a ridiculous genie costume and blonde wig, grinned at me from across the room. _Yes, now, Edward!_

Bella had her back to me, carefully picking up empty glasses and arranging them on her tray. I hated seeing her perform any kind of menial duty in my home, but again I tamped down the feelings of frustration as I walked quietly up behind her. I was just about to speak when her stomach let out a loud growl.

I couldn't help but grin as she jumped slightly, and then tilted her arm to peek at her wristwatch. She huffed and set off for the kitchen with me a few steps behind her. I leaned quietly against the doorjamb, silently relishing her presence, enjoying the opportunity to watch her movements through my eyes instead of my mind. She was so beautiful.

Bella set her tray down on the counter, and then reached for an appetizer that sat on one of the many trays there. They all smelled revolting to me, but she evidently enjoyed it, as she let out a little quiet little moan, quickly devouring the first and then reaching for a second. Her head turned slightly towards me as she slid the skewer from between her lips, and I knew I had to speak before she spotted me watching her. Unfortunately, the first thing that fell from my lips was borderline moronic, at best.

"Hungry?"

I immediately cursed myself as she jumped and choked a little on the appetizer. _Hungry_? After months of waiting for this moment, _that_ was the best thing I could think to say to her?

"Sorry, you just really surprised me." She blinked her eyes and waves of surprise rolled off of her as she suddenly realized who had startled her.

"Hello, Bella," I replied softly, willing myself to stay in place so as to not frighten her.

A flush spread across her beautiful face. "Edward? I… hi, how are you?" Small pinpricks of happiness from her now, combined with her surprise, as she met my eyes. In one swift sweet jolt I was in her mind; her thoughts were in turmoil, but she _was_ happy to see me. With that reassurance I smiled and moved slowly away from the doorframe, trying my best not to alarm or intimidate her.

"I'm fine, Bella, and how are you?"

"I'm okay. Just working, you know."

I nodded, surreptitiously trying to inhale her pure scent as I took another step closer. It was astonishing, but her blood didn't call to me at all in that moment. All I could feel was the insistent tug in my chest, pulling me to her. "My mother told me that you were here. Imagine my surprise."

Her deep brown eyes continued to stare into mine and I saw the hurt and confusion there even as I read it in her mind. _Surprise? Why, because I'm the hired help at his parents' party? Why couldn't I have met him again on more equal terms? Why couldn't we have run into each other in Port Angeles, or when I eventually got around to visiting Jake and Billy? We're right back where we parted, where I'm boring and clumsy little Bella Swan, and he's a gorgeous and privileged Cullen. He's too good for me. He probably has a beautiful socialite girlfriend back in New Hampshire; that is if she's not here tonight. They all move in different circles from plain old me; there is no reason why he would ever want what I have to offer._

Her distress roared over me like a tidal wave. Had she honestly thought this all along? That she wasn't good enough for _me_? That I wouldn't ever want her, when everything in my life revolved around her happiness, her well-being? Had _I_ given her cause to think that way?

So many questions tore through my mind, but in the end, all I wanted to do was reassure her, to put her baseless insecurities to rest. She was still frozen with the little wooden skewer in her fingers, so I carefully reached out and pulled it away, tossing it to the countertop behind her. "You're wrong, you know, what you're thinking."

I felt her relax with my proximity, and a surge of hope went through me. She wasn't uncomfortable with me so close; in fact she seemed intoxicated by it. She licked her lips slowly, her eyes never leaving mine, letting me delight in the peaceful perfection of her mind.

"What am I thinking that's wrong?"

My hand was moving of its own accord, I couldn't have stopped it for the world. Bella's wonderful scent, her beautiful face, the blush that was only now fading from her pale skin… I put one hand on the countertop beside her to steady myself and then raised a finger and ran it gently along her cheekbone.

Touching her, finally touching her again after having done so only once… it was almost too much. I simultaneously wanted to crush her to me, to kiss her, to snatch her up and run away to be alone with her, to tell her that she was my entire world and I would do anything for her. I had to wait, though. I repeated Alice's words in my head, _don't scare her_, and answered her question in as level a voice as I could muster. "You're perfect. Perfect, beautiful, in every way. Why _wouldn't_ I want you?" I leaned slightly closer to her as I spoke, watching the flush bloom back over her skin again.

She drew in a ragged breath, desperately trying to gain her composure, and I had to smother a grin. Romancing my beautiful Bella was turning out to be easier than I'd worried it would be. I knew she could feel the connection between us, I _knew_ it.

"You could have mentioned that when we were back in high school," she finally managed. "You know, back when I actually had a crush on you?"

Not even thinking any more, I let my finger run down the length of her cheek, to her neck, to her collarbone. She had such beautiful bone-structure, fragile as a teacup, covered by skin soft as a rose petal. "You had a crush on me?" She didn't withdraw from my cold touch; in fact, she seemed to respond to it.

"Well, along with the entire female population of Forks High, that is."

Those mindless insipid children? How could she even put herself into the same category as them? Why couldn't she let go of the past and recognize what was in front of her, right at that moment? "Hmm," I said softly, thinking that perhaps she needed me to persuade her. I ran my finger carefully along her collarbone, careful not to presume too much. "But what about _you_, Bella?"

She rolled her eyes, and I blinked, surprised, at the sarcasm that came next. "Yes, of course I had a crush on you. Too bad you couldn't be bothered to talk to me and find out."

Oh God, did she honestly believe that I hadn't wanted her then? That I didn't genuinely want her now? How could I make her understand the wide gulf between where we'd been a few months ago, and where we were at this moment? That I would have given myself wholly to her then, if it hadn't meant her death, due to my weak will? So much, too much to tell her now. I withdrew a little from her, hoping I hadn't pushed her too far.

"Trust me Bella, at that time, it would have been very bad for you to like me. I couldn't encourage that."

Her angry reaction swept over me even as the air whooshed from her lungs. "Well, in that case, I'm glad you didn't. I would hate to have messed up any of your plans, or your perfect life."

No. Oh no, _no no no_. Why was this going so horribly wrong? She glared at me even as I heard a furious shriek in my mind from Alice.

"Bella, that's not what I…"

"Spare me, Edward, please. You come in here, push me up against your kitchen counter, call me beautiful, and then in the next breath say that I wouldn't have been good for you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Who _does_ that?"

The genuine hurt and anger and embarrassment swirled around her like a cloud, and for the first time in a very long time, I found myself almost completely speechless. "I didn't…"

Bella's eyes narrowed and I knew she meant every word of what she said. She actually believed that I thought her _unworthy_ of me. _Me_, a vile murderer; a selfish creature that didn't even have the right to look her in the eye, let alone address her. The tug in my chest pulled painfully as I felt her withdraw from me, and I took a step forward.

Her hand snapped up and flattened against my chest, the heat burning through my thin t-shirt. Instead of warning me away, the feel of her hand on my body drew me in, and I took another step towards her. I could feel Alice's wrath as she scrambled through the crowded living room to the kitchen, but I mindlessly moved closer to Bella. I _had_ to make her understand, to realize how wrong her assumptions were. Her other hand joined the first, and before I knew what was happening, she gave me a hard shove.

I was already stepping away from her when a startled gasp from the second doorway drew my attention away. Bella's boss stood there, her face a mask of horror and embarrassment. I mumbled an apologetic response to her questions and turned, just briefly catching a glimpse of Bella's mortified face, and then left the kitchen.

I plowed through the living room, ignoring the guests' strange looks and Carlisle and Esme's concerned faces. I was almost up the stairs, just out of eyesight, when a small pink fury landed on my back.

"Where the _hell_ do you think you're going?" Alice hissed, clinging to me with claws like a tiger's.

"Leave me alone, Alice, I…"

"Leave you alone nothing! What were you thinking?"

I pushed her off of me as I stepped into the second-floor hallway. "I _wasn't_ thinking. I was just trying to do what you said, to not scare her…"

She glared up at me. "God, Edward, I didn't mean insult her and make her feel that she'd been right all along about her insecurities!"

"I didn't…"

"_Yes you did_!" Her anger was palpable. "Instead of thinking of yourself, why didn't you listen to her? Did you hear a word she said? Or were you too focused on trying to make her understand what _you_ felt? In this situation, Edward, you're going to have to put her first. It's been all about _you_ for the past few months, now try and focus on what _she_ needs!"

"I thought I was!" I growled at her.

She scowled back. "Hardly! Ugh, if we didn't have a houseful of human guests right now, I'd put your thick head through this wall. You were trying to make her feel okay with _your_ feelings, to rationalize everything to her in an instant. How do you think that made her feel? Do you think she understood that? Maybe you should have just straight out told her that you've been stalking her for months, waiting for her to realize that this vampire-mate thing is going to be a very real part of her future!"

I clenched my jaw. "Because I owe _so_ much to your helpful advice?"

"Shut up!" she snarled. "I can only help you so much, Edward. You have one chance left. Her boss told her to go home, but that ancient truck of hers just died out in the driveway. I strongly suggest you get out there and make the most of this opportunity."

I fought the urge to snap back at her, knowing that Bella was my primary concern right now. "Is she going to…"

Alice threw up her hands, frustration etched on her features. "I don't know! You've gone and screwed everything up, and she's upset right now, so just _get out there_!"

I was moving before she'd finished her sentence, careful to slow down as I passed by the living room and out the back door. Bella's truck sat where she'd parked it earlier, but I could hear her crying and see her hunched form over the steering wheel.

In an instant, my protective instincts snapped to the forefront, wanting to protect her, to keep her safe from any harm or hurt. Right now, though, _I_ was the one hurting her, and nothing could be gained from acting impulsively and then trying to explain myself afterwards. I groaned and walked quietly up the truck, and then tapped gently on the closed window.

Her head shot up immediately, her red-rimmed eyes meeting mine. "What do you want?"

"Bella, can I talk to you? Please?" _Be quiet, be patient, listen to what she needs, what she wants._

"It's not like I have a choice." Not exactly the response I had hoped for, but I would take it. I moved around the truck as quickly as I dared, opening the passenger side door and sliding onto the seat beside her.

In the enclosed quiet of the cab, her thumping heartbeat and feelings of utter resignation almost did me in. "I am swallowing my pride here, just so you know," she finally said, her voice hoarse. "But I think I need a ride, just into town. I'll have my friend Jake come pick me up from there. And I'll make sure my truck is towed first thing tomorrow morning, so it won't be in the way."

I stared at her. Why was she still thinking this way? Why did she truly believe that she was just a burden to those around her? Was she still clinging to this gross misconception that she was beneath me? "You misunderstood me before, Bella. I wish you'd let me explain. I never said that you weren't good enough for me."

She gasped, and I knew in a heartbeat that I'd misspoken _again_, but I interrupted her protest, knowing that if I didn't get it all out in this moment, I'd never get another chance. "Bella, please just stop and listen to me for a minute? I said that it would have been very bad for _you_ to like _me_. Bad for _you_. At that time, it wouldn't have been in your best interest to be around me more than you already were. As much as I wanted to be around you, and it was very, _very_ much…" Unable to stop myself, I once again raised my hand and tentatively ran my finger along the flush on her cheekbone. "I was afraid I'd end up hurting you. But please know that there was nothing I wanted more than to be around you, I wanted it all the time. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear."

"Why would you have hurt me?" she asked warily, after a long moment, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I wanted to meet her eyes but they were fixed on the seat between us, so I did my best to reply honestly to her.

"I can't really explain it. But please believe me when I say that I would never hurt you now. I _could_ never hurt you now. I will only take care of you, like I always wanted to."

Her brow wrinkled but I could feel her calming down. "I… I don't think that makes sense. I don't understand."

No, she didn't understand, but for the first time that evening, I could sense that she _wanted_ to. "I know. It's not exactly something I can explain in one conversation. But I'll tell you everything, eventually."

Bella's eyes flitted to mine for a brief moment. I knew she was still confused, but I couldn't keep my hand away from her, she was like a magnet and I was a needle. If she couldn't recognize the pull between us now, I wasn't sure what else I could rationally say or do to explain myself. Instead, I tried to convey my love for her through my touch, gently running my fingertips up over her temple and into the silk of her hair. She relaxed again at my touch, and when I met the stern resistance of a hairpin, I cautiously tugged at it. A tiny sigh escaped her, and I pulled again until it slipped loose. Then another.

"Alice was happy to see you tonight too. She's actually hoping that you'll come back inside." The greatest understatement I'd made in years, to be sure, but I knew it was reassuring to her. I found another hairpin and slipped it loose. Bella's lips turned up slightly, but she showed no signs of hesitancy as I continued to seek out and remove those tiny wires from her glorious hair.

"What about you?" Her voice was no more than a whisper now.

With the careful tug of one last pin, her long glorious hair untwisted, falling down over her back. I watched it, fascinated, and then carefully ran my fingers through it as I'd always dreamed of doing, allowing my free hand to caress her face, her lips. She again leaned slightly into my hand, and I spoke, laying bare everything I felt for her in a few simple words.

"Me? I'm very much hoping that you'll come in."

She bit her lip and met my gaze, and I realized that the moment I'd dreamt about for so long was finally here. Slowly, giving her the chance to pull away, I leaned even closer and gently pressed my lips to hers. Her lips were soft and responded instantly to my own, so I carefully wound one hand back into her silky hair, allowing the other to drift down to her hip, all the while hyperaware of her response to my actions. She moaned softly and I shivered slightly as instinct took over.

I ran my tongue lightly along her lip, savoring the wonderful taste of her even as her scent surrounded me more intensely. Her lips parted and I carefully probed her mouth, mindful to not allow her lips or tongue anywhere near my razor-sharp teeth. I had vague memories of having kissed a few girls during my human life, but I'd never been this close to _anyone_ since my change, and I marveled in how easy and natural kissing her was. There was no conscious thought, I simply gave myself up and let our pleasure guide my actions.

She whimpered softly as I pulled my lips away from hers; her eyes were half-shut, but she looked happy. "Edward…"

"Hmm?" I ran my lips down her neck, allowing her to catch her breath even as I slowly pulled her onto my lap, savoring the feel of her body so close to mine. She snuggled against me and spoke again.

"What are you supposed to be, anyway?"

I paused for a moment but kept my lips against the soft skin of her throat, not sure what she was asking. "What do you mean?"

"It was a costume party, but you aren't dressed up. What are you supposed to be?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed silently then, hugging her close to me. My beautiful wonderful Bella. She'd be finding out the truth soon enough. "Can't you tell? I'm supposed to be a vampire."

She gasped as I turned my attention back to her throat. I could feel her pulse pounding very close, but it begged to be kissed, not bitten. I ran my lips gently back and forth over the spot, feeling the soft rush of blood running through the vein there, fluttering just under the skin. I paused for a moment to check my control, but there was no bloodlust… instead I felt… relief? Her pulse, the presence of her heartbeat, was my assurance that Bella was all right. Whenever she was in my arms, as long as I could hear her heart beating, I would know she was safe.

Joy swept over me, and I pressed a soft kiss to her pulse point, then opened my mouth and sucked lightly at her skin there. It was heaven.

"I don't believe in vampires," she moaned softly, her head falling back, dizziness and lust thick around us both. She was responding to _me_, I was doing this to her!

"Why not? Is it that hard to believe that a vampire wants you so badly right now?" I licked gently at the skin on her neck, and she shivered deliciously.

"A vampire would want my blood."

Oh, Bella. She had no idea exactly how right, and yet how _wrong_ she was in that one simple sentence. I loved her so much, and I smiled as I sat back after placing one last kiss on her neck, taking in her beautiful features. "That's very true. But isn't it possible that a vampire might want your body too?"

Now was the defining moment, she would either collect herself and pull away, or she would give in to everything that was swirling around us. Her beautiful chocolate eyes studied me for a moment, and then she smiled shyly. "I suppose so. I guess that would be the best of both worlds?"

There was a depth of meaning in her spoken words, but I was back in her mind again, and I heard a thought so deep down, so automatic, that I almost missed it. _I want him. I don't understand, but I want him, I need him_.

I groaned silently and ran my fingers back over her face again, forcing myself to answer her question. "Yes, it would. Bella, there is so much I want to tell you, so much… but I can think of better places to do it than in your truck."

She hesitated and for the briefest moment I was afraid I'd pushed too far. "If Lori sees my truck sitting out here, she's going to come looking for me."

That was her only concern? I smiled in the dark as I cradled her closer to me, sliding out of the truck and then standing while holding her tight. My Bella, my mate, was in my arms, her body nestled trustingly into mine, her hands warm and soft on my neck, wound into my hair.

"Don't worry about it, Alice will… have Emmett push it back behind the garage, your boss will never see it." I almost misspoke, but she didn't appear to notice, so I began quickly walking around the back of the house, thankful that I'd left my bedroom window open earlier. I didn't want anyone to disturb or interrupt us now.

I paused beside the house and briefly contemplated how I would make the jump into the window without her noticing, when she spoke again. "Edward… where are we going?"

I looked down at her, and in an instant, I simply did what came most naturally to me now: I kissed her. Long and deep, tasting the sweetness of her mouth, hearing her soft sigh that I answered with my own moan. Quickly, before she could open her eyes, I crouched and leapt with all the strength in my legs, landing easily on the windowsill of my bedroom. I carefully stepped down onto the floor, trying my best not to jar her, but she opened her eyes just then, confused at the sudden change in surroundings.

"This is my room," I said softly.

"Is your room on the first floor?"

_Don't scare her!_ I caressed her gently where my hands met her body, still in my arms. "No, it's not. Bella… are you afraid?" _Listen to her now, let her guide me! Be strong enough to let her go if that's what she wants right now!_

She blinked in surprise, and her whispered words conveyed more trust and love than even I'd hoped for tonight. "Of you? No."

In her mind now… _This is crazy… but I'm not scared. I want this. I want him_. _Please don't let this end, don't let me go_…

It was all the reassurance I needed.

A couple of quick steps, and then I was laying her down on my bed, stretching out over her, still mindful of any nervousness or apprehension on her part. As our bodies lay flush together she tilted her head back and shut her eyes, lips full and open. I moaned softly into her neck as I ran a hand down her side, gently tugging at her knee until her thigh was wrapped around my hip and her warmth was pressed firmly against my rapidly hardening erection.

She moaned in response as I began kissing her again, more insistently this time, letting my lips tell her all the things I didn't have words for at the moment. How much I loved her. How much I desired her. How I would never let anything or anyone come between us. How I would give her my heart, wholly and completely, for the rest of eternity. I'd only hoped to speak with her tonight, to perhaps kiss her, but now there was a very real possibility that I would be able to make love to my Bella, and the knowledge was exhilarating.

"I can't believe this is happening…" she murmured, eyes still shut, almost unaware that she had spoken. I caressed her face and kissed her eyelids before replying.

"Bella, it was always you. I've always wanted you, and only you. You don't know how long I've waited for you."

She moved against me, her hands running down my chest, and I began slowly unbuttoning her shirt, careful all the while to make sure she was comfortable with it. Lust and want were radiating off her as strongly as the heat from her body, and I kissed her chest reverently before cautiously removing her bra.

Her eyes opened then, and I paused, but she began to insistently tug at my shirt, and I had to smother a grin. My Bella wanted me as much as I wanted her.

I ripped off my shirt quickly and her hands were immediately exploring, moving like flames down over my chest and abdomen. She showed no fear, no hesitancy, and I willed my body into immobility as her hot little hands moved down further still and brushed over my arousal.

I hissed in pleasure just as she whispered "Please?" and a quick glance into her eyes told me exactly what she wanted. I immediately yanked the rest of my clothing away, tearing my jeans in my haste, and then more gently removed hers as well. Her beautiful pale body was completely exposed to me then, and I allowed myself one reverential look over it, committing it to my perfect memory, before my lips returned to her skin and I began worshiping her the way she deserved.

She was so relaxed, even in her arousal, that her mind was fairly open to me even at those moments we didn't have eye contact. I could feel every ripple of pleasure that went through her as her body and mind responded. She writhed under me as I moved unceasingly, kissing, licking, caressing, touching, and even nibbling with my lips, careful to keep my teeth far away from her white skin. I grew braver and skimmed a hand down over her heat, and her deep moan spurred me on, so I began stroking her there. The whole time I was drinking in every rapturous expression that flickered over her face.

It was almost overwhelming… seeing and feeling her physical body respond so eagerly to my touch, sensing the bliss that fogged her mind now. Combined with my own aching desire, it was rapture beyond what I could have ever imagined existed.

Her hips bucked up towards me, and I knew immediately what she wanted; I was desperate for it too. I carefully stretched out over her again, mindful to support my weight on my forearms, and settled at her entrance. She was still whimpering with delight below me, but I knew that _this_ moment, more than any other, would require me to be completely attuned to her needs. I couldn't let myself go, I couldn't hurt her.

I kissed my way up her neck and then settled my lips against the pulse point of her neck, resolving to keep them there, to let the steady beat of her heart be my link to sanity, to remind me that _her _wellbeing was my greatest priority.

Carefully and slowly, I began pushing into her. I was fairly sure, although not certain, that she was a virgin, and I hoped I could make her first time as pain-free as possible. Her hands came down and settled on my backside, urging me on, tightening and pulling against my skin. I clenched my jaw, my lips still pressed against the steady beat of her pulse, and pressed more firmly into her, not stopping until I was fully seated inside her warmth. She whimpered and tensed for the briefest of moments, before an intense flood of pleasure swept over her as she arched into my body.

And then I was making love to my Bella.

Every single thing in the universe seemed to stop at that moment as I moved inside her body, listening to her mind, feeling her pleasure as well as my own as it spiked and ebbed, slow-moving while still hot and burning, an insistent build inside both of us. Her wordless little cries spurred me onward, and I began thrusting inside of her, my hands moving to urge an even greater response from her. She cried out and I growled in response, my more primal side breaking loose for the first time.

I kissed her, I licked her, and I endeavored to bring pleasure to every inch of her beautiful body, all without ceasing the sweet push and pull, the momentum we'd established. Her breath began coming in shorter pants as I brushed over her most sensitive places, the humming tension in her body growing to a peak. I redoubled my efforts, gaining more and more enjoyment from the satisfaction that was building inside her.

When she began to come, I felt it and it wrenched the most painfully exquisite pleasure from deep inside me as well. Feeling her warmth clamp down around me, feeling her body stiffen and then melt into rhythmic contractions of bliss, hearing her voice break as she cried out beneath me… it was all too much. I gave up to the roaring inside of me, plunging harder inside her until I too was pushed beyond the point of no return, giving up to a climax so intense and all-encompassing, for a moment I was lost, somewhere far inside of her.

I began to come back to myself finally, and fervently kissed her swollen lips, murmuring reassurances to her in between her gasps. "It was only ever you, Bella. I've only ever wanted you."

After a long moment, she opened her eyes and met my own. "I don't understand." Even through her haze of satiation, the confusion was there in her voice, eyes, and mind, and I hurried to reassure her.

"I know. There is so much I have to tell you, and most of it will sound impossible. I just need you to trust me and believe that I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you. Never doubt that."

Bella blinked as she slowly considered my words, still somewhat baffled, but she wasn't afraid. She was _happy_. "Why didn't you tell me this before now?"

Oh, everything I wanted in that moment… to tell her how long I'd waited for her, to tell her everything I'd dreamed of for us, to pledge my eternal love and complete devotion to her, for as long as she would have me. The rational part of me took over, though, and I spoke carefully after a moment, hugging her close to me.

"What if I were to tell you that the vampire that I'm supposed to be had been afraid of hurting you? That it took me a year and a half to build up my tolerance and my confidence, before I knew that I could love you without hurting you? That in the meantime I could at least watch over you and protect you until I knew that we were _both_ ready? But that now I know that I can be with you the way we've always wanted, the way we're meant to be?"

Bella absorbed that, a hesitant half-smile on her lips. "But I told you, I don't believe in vampires."

I couldn't help but laugh, she was so perfectly, innocently adorable. There was so much I had to tell her, and even in the space of our brief joining, I realized that there was a deep strength and intuition inside Bella Swan. Perhaps not tonight, but very soon I would tell her the truth. I settled back down and kissed her neck with a smile, anticipating the night ahead of us.

"Then, my love, I'll just have to convince you otherwise."


	3. Jacob's POV – Forks – June

Hello and welcome to _IDBiV Outtakes, Oneshots_! Here you'll find scenes that either just didn't quite fit into the flow of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_, or that fill in the little blanks or questions you may have had here and there. They will not necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll post pre-reading details/suggestions/spoiler alerts before each one. Got a suggestion/request for an outtake? Either leave me a comment or send me a PM! I can't promise I'll be able to write an outtake for all suggestions, but I DO promise to take them all into consideration!

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.**

**xoxoxoxoxo  
**

I wrote this outtake to give a little perspective to Jacob's point of view and actions throughout the story. Although I wrote it after Chapter Twenty-Three, as long as you've read Chapter One it will be spoiler-free. I know, I know…JPOV? But please do read it, it will give you a lot of insight into Chapter Twenty-Four.

**Jacob's POV – Forks – June**

Graduations were boring as hell. They were one of those things that everyone _knew_ were boring as hell, but they all suck it up and go anyway. I was contemplating skipping my own next year, although the reservation school's ceremonies didn't take as long as Forks High's…not that it was a day-long event or anything. Just boring.

But Bella was graduating, and for her I would do anything. It would be hard enough on her, not having Charlie there to watch her walk across the stage, so Billy didn't even have to convince me to come, like he did for Rachel and Rebecca's graduations. I was just there.

I shifted a little in the hard plastic seat as the valedictorian kept droning on about following your dreams and doing anything you put your mind to. The standard boring stuff, and I let my mind wander. As long as I didn't doze off, Billy didn't really care if I paid attention or not.

Bella had been unusually quiet this morning, getting ready for the ceremony, and I knew she was upset. Renee had come up with some dumb-ass reason to not show up for her only daughter's graduation, something about her husband's schedule. Although Bella hadn't said it, I knew how much it hurt. Even though she'd gotten a lot better over the past few months, coming out of her shell with every passing week, there were still times when I knew she was depressed, thinking about Charlie.

To say his death was a shock was the understatement of the year. He was just one of those guys that were always there; he never really stood out or tried to be remarkable, he was just an all-around good guy. Plus he'd been my dad's best friend for years, so that made him almost like a second father to me. Bella was always just his daughter who lived in Phoenix and visited every once in a while. I hadn't seen her for about two years, though, until she came to live with him.

And then, just like that, we clicked. You know how sometimes you get to know someone and you're just automatically a perfect fit? That was me and Bella. She was my friend, and then my best friend, in every sense of the word. It didn't hurt that she was one of the most laid-back girls I knew…she was pretty but without a pound of makeup on her face, level-headed and happy without being ditzy and annoying. She didn't get crazy like so many chicks do at that age.

I wish I could have loved her. I mean, I _did_ love her, but not like _that_. Charlie and Billy probably would have died and gone to heaven if Bella and I ever did hook up, but it just wasn't that way between us. We'd even gone as far as trying to make out once…granted there was some rez moonshine involved…and it was just _wrong_. Bella and I fit together, but we didn't fit like _that_. We were kind of like what I imagined twins to be like…just easy, comfortable, and knowing each other inside and out.

Billy was the first person Bella called from the hospital, when Charlie died. We drove up there right away and found her sitting in the waiting area, some stupid social worker patting her uselessly on the knee. Her face was a complete blank, like everything she'd ever known had been knocked out from under her in one moment. I guess it kinda had, actually. She didn't start crying until I hugged her, and she didn't stop for a long time.

She came back home with us that night, and I let her have my bed while I crashed on the couch. The next day was filled with all kinds of shit no teenage girl should have to deal with…arrangements for the funeral, legal forms, and other stuff. Luckily Charlie had thought ahead and his will had everything spelled out down to the last detail, so Bella was spared a lot of the decision-making. Billy and I went with her, of course, and she held my hand through a lot of it. She wasn't crying any more, though, she'd just sunk back into that numb place.

Of course she spent the night with us again, and after she fell asleep, Billy and I stayed up for a while talking. Obviously Charlie hadn't anticipated dying while Bella was still so young, so it was assumed that she'd just go to Jacksonville and live with her mom. Yeah, pack everything up and go to a new high school in the middle of her senior year, leaving behind all her friends. It was a dumb idea…she'd never even _been_ to Renee's new house in Jacksonville…and Billy asked me what I thought about having Bella move in with us.

I didn't even think twice about my answer. Of course the answer was yes, what else would it be? She could finish her school year up at Forks High, graduate with her class, and then figure out what she wanted to do. Hey, if she wanted to stay with us until she was ready to go out on her own, that would be fine too. I definitely didn't want her to go to Jacksonville, I'd miss her too much and we didn't exactly have plane fare lying around for me to go visit her.

The next day was even worse. For all the sleeping she was doing, Bella had black circles under her eyes and she was still just…numb. I mean, she talked, she walked, but otherwise she was kind of like a zombie. I know it sounds mean, but I was kinda surprised that losing her dad could do that to her. I mean, it was sad for sure, but she was _broken_ over it. Although I guess since it had just been her and Charlie for so long, she felt like she didn't really _have_ any family left. Renee wasn't exactly in the running for mother of the year.

The day after that was the funeral. I held her hand for the whole thing, just letting her I know I was there. She was zoned out again, though, swaying on her feet a little, and I made sure to keep a good hold on her. Renee was too busy boo-hoo-ing over her _ex_-husband's death to remember her daughter who was still alive, and still hurting.

So right after the service ended, Billy asked her if she wanted to come stay with us. She blinked slowly, like maybe it hadn't even occurred to her what she was supposed to do now. And then after a minute, she said yes.

Renee put up a half-hearted fight, probably more worried about how it would look that her daughter didn't _want_ to come stay with her, but Bella actually put her foot down. I was pretty proud of her for that. There was a dinner after the service, at one of the restaurants in Forks, and I stuck close by her. Everyone and their brother had to come up and pat her and tell her how sorry they were but it's all in God's plan…the usual BS that everyone thinks they have to say, but doesn't really help at all. I could tell when she began folding back in on herself, and that's when I started running interference for her. I could tell that she was grateful that she didn't have to do any more talking. She fell asleep on my shoulder on the way back to our house.

The day after that we went and packed up some of her stuff, enough so that she could get at least a little settled in at our place. I boxed up a bunch of my crap that was in the closet so she would have room for her clothes, and the living room couch became my bed. She said she felt bad about it but I told her I didn't care, as long as I had something other than the floor to sleep on, it was okay. And it was true.

When she was ready, we helped her pack up Charlie's things, sort through what she wanted to keep in storage, and what could be donated to charity. Every picture, every memory she found as we methodically packed Charlie's life away, hurt her more and more. Sometimes she wanted to talk as we worked, sometimes she didn't. We left it up to her. Billy told me to let her heal at her own pace, and to just be there for her, whatever she needed. As if he had to tell me that.

We were there with her when she signed the papers selling the house.

We were there when she decided she was ready to go back to school. The principal at Forks High had been really cool about letting her miss almost three weeks of school, and one of her friends brought by homework for her to do. She was ready to go back, though; I think she wanted a little bit of normalcy again.

You would think that it would have been too crowded or crazy in our tiny house, but it wasn't. Bella fit easily into our home just as she'd always fit into our lives. The only thing we really fought over was the bathroom…I mean, I'm sure she took less time getting ready than most chicks do, but when there's only one bathroom and a guy's gotta go…well, I don't feel like going out and finding a convenient tree when it's pouring down rain out.

She cooked dinner for us every night, a chore she took on and we gave up gladly. And _man_ could she cook…not frozen tv dinners or Chef Boyardee like Billy and I were used to. Bella actually made stuff from scratch, and I had no idea she could come up with as many recipes involving fish as she did. Billy and I both put on a little weight…luckily mine seemed to turn into muscle while Billy's just went to his gut.

Winter finally ended and spring began. Bella had been slowly returning to her former self. She wasn't the same girl as before, but she was almost there. She settled easily into life on the rez, where everyone knew everybody and everyone got along for the most part. She was the one who encouraged me to go out on a date…which ended _horribly_, but anyway…and she got to know just about everyone. Everybody liked Bella.

She was there for me when Embry decided he'd rather go hang out with Sam Uley than ever talk to me again. That hurt, it hurt a lot. Embry and I had been friends practically since birth, and after a bout with the flu that evidently gave him brain damage, he cut me off and started hanging with Sam and his buddies instead.

When she started teasing me about the sudden and weird growth spurt that hit me, I knew our Bella was almost back to normal. She poked my bicep and told me to lay off the steroids, I poked her back and told her that bony white chicks should keep their traps shut about the awesomeness that was good genes. She laughed at that. She was finally laughing again.

A lot of people…more up in Forks than down at La Push…assumed that we were a couple. I guess I could see why they might think that, since we were always together when she wasn't at school, but it could never be like that with us. I was closer to her than I was to my two actual biological sisters, like I said, almost like we were twins. And like any good brother, I teased her about dumb stuff and we fought over dumb stuff but we still loved each other in the end anyway.

She didn't talk too much about what was going on up at Forks High, and we never really got together with any of her friends there. So I didn't really know any of the people she was graduating with, and I hoped she wasn't going to drag me with her to any of those after-graduation parties. Of course, Bella wasn't really the partying type, so I probably didn't need to worry about that.

I yawned widely and Billy gave me a dirty look. Well, at least they were handing out the diplomas now, that had to mean they were almost done, right?

They finally got to the S's and I let out a yell and a wolf-whistle when Bella walked across the stage. She looked great; she'd finally gained back some of the weight she'd lost and her eyes had sparkle in them again. She'd even done her hair with our little travel hair-dryer, even though it meant she'd spent an extra ten minutes in the bathroom and I had to hurry up after she was done. But hell, it was her day, and I didn't complain.

_Finally_ they flipped their tassels and walked out, and Billy and I started moving through the crowd. I pushed his wheelchair and gave dirty looks to anyone who looked at us crosswise as I barreled through the crowd.

Where was she, anyway? She had to know we'd be looking for her, and since I was 6'2 I definitely stood out in the crowd. It wasn't until a large group in front of us broke apart that I saw her.

She was smiling shyly, gripping her diploma, talking to the Cullens. I didn't know ninety percent of the people there, but everyone down at La Push knew who the Cullens were…mainly because they weren't allowed on Quileute land and we were supposed to let one of the elders know if we ever saw them trespassing. I have no idea why, something about some dumb age-old feud our ancestors had with their ancestors…or if you wanted to believe the elders who were clearly going senile, the feud we had with _them_. Like they were the same people. Some of the elders thought they were vampires or something, which was pretty dumb considering it was daytime and they were out and about and hadn't exploded into flames or anything.

The guy, I didn't know his name, was squeezing Bella's hand and saying something to her. She smiled politely, looking confused, but in the next moment his sister was up on her tippy-toes and giving Bella a gigantic hug. Bella laughed, surprised, and patted her awkwardly on the back as Shorty whispered something to her and then released her.

Then, as one, both of the Cullens turned to look at us.

"Jacob, let's go," Billy snapped. I was pretty taken-aback, Billy was as mellow as Charlie had been and it was pretty unusual to hear him get pissy about anything. But right now he looked and sounded like he was about to spit nails. I started wheeling him in Bella's direction when she spied us and smiled. The Cullens melted back into the crowd as Bella met us halfway. Her melancholy from earlier seemed to have vanished, and she gave both of us a hug.

"I can't believe I'm _done_!" she laughed breathlessly.

"Sure, sure, rub it in," I said sourly; I still had one year of school left.

"We're so proud of you, Bella," Billy said, and I knew how much he meant it. He'd taken on the responsibility of a father-figure, guardian, and mentor for his best friend's only child, and he loved her just as much as he did me, or Rachel, or Rebecca. She was just like his fourth child now, and I know Charlie definitely would have approved.

She bit her lip. "I guess a bunch of people are going out for dinner, over at The Lodge…but I'd just rather go home. Is that okay?"

"No problem at all," Billy replied, and I silently heaved a sigh of relief, glad that she didn't expect me to go to any graduation parties with her. Give me a bonfire on the beach instead any day.

So we headed back home and despite Billy's protests about Bella cooking dinner for us on her special day, she went all-out and made some kind of roast chicken with garlic mashed potatoes and vegetables in a marinade that was definitely more than just Italian dressing. Even Billy shut up when he got a whiff of the amazing smells coming out of the kitchen.

After dinner, Billy settled down in front of the tv and Bella and I went for a walk along the beach. There was an enormous driftwood tree that had been laying there for as long as I could remember, and Bella and I considered that _our_ tree. I know she went there by herself too, when she was feeling sad or wanted to be alone, but it was where she and I went when we just wanted to relax and talk, or even just sit side-by-side, watching the gray-blue waves roll in and out.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes before she spoke. "I was thinking about what I should do now…since I'm technically and legally an adult. Charlie…he really wanted me to go on to college. And, I mean, I want to as well, but…" She hesitated for a moment and stared out across the water, the wind whipping a few strands of hair wildly around her face. "I guess I'm scared to leave here. This place has been my home, my buffer against the real world. I'm not sure I _want_ to leave."

I understand exactly what she meant. The Quileute reservation was its own safe little universe, which was probably why so many people grew up there, stayed there, married there, and raised their families there. It was home. But Bella was meant for more than that…I'm not even sure how or why I felt that so strongly. She was meant to fly, to see the world, to do everything she'd probably dreamed of doing before Charlie had died.

"We're not going anywhere, Bella…you can always come back and visit whenever you want."

"I know," she said softly.

"I mean, we'll miss your cooking, I'm not going to lie about that, but this is your chance to get out and live. You should do it."

We were quiet for a little while before she spoke again. "I'm thinking about moving to Port Angeles…the community college there will at least get my basic classes out of the way, and then I can transfer the credits if I figure out exactly what I want to do with my life. And I, uh…I may as well get an apartment there, we both know my truck couldn't handle me driving back and forth that often."

"Yeah," I said shortly, making a mental note to tune up her engine before she left. She was right, though, that truck wasn't up for commuting.

"I feel like…like I've been living in a perfect bubble for the past few months," she finally said. "Which is probably what I needed, all things considered. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had you and Billy…all of you."

"You'll always have us, don't make it sound like you're saying goodbye."

"Okay."

"You're not planning on taking off right away, are you? I mean, if you're going to rent an apartment you'll need help moving and all." Bella knew that I was leaving in a few days for a two-week camping trip with Quil and a few of the guys. It was an end-of-school tradition for us, something we'd been doing since we were old enough to go camping on our own.

She laughed a little. "If I find an apartment, I'll probably go ahead and move, yeah. Besides, it's not like I have much to move…just a few boxes. I'll probably leave Charlie's things here at the storage facility for now."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet." She leaned forward and propped her chin into her hands, her elbows on her knees. "Live. Learn. Maybe fall in love."

"Yeah," I replied gruffly. "As long as you let me know if he ever treats you wrong. I'll come beat the crap out of him."

She laughed and scooted closer to me as a cool breeze blew off the water. We sat like that for a long time, in a comfortable silence, until the sun had gone down and only the moon and stars provided illumination around us.


	4. EPOV, Goat Rock Wilderness, November

Hello and welcome to _IDBiV Outtakes, Oneshots_! Here you'll find scenes that either just didn't quite fit into the flow of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_, or that fill in the little blanks or questions you may have had here and there. They will not necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll post pre-reading details/suggestions/spoiler alerts before each one. Got a suggestion/request for an outtake? Either leave me a comment or send me a PM! I can't promise I'll be able to write an outtake for all suggestions, but I DO promise to take them all into consideration!

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

This is a very special outtake in that it's dedicated to a very special person…IDBiV super-fan and all around sweetheart TwiCharmed! Tomorrow (11/28) is her birthday and I'm thrilled to be able to present this outtake as a gift to her, as a little token of my appreciation for everything she does for the fandom and for being such an awesome person in general. Happy Birthday hon!

This outtake essentially brackets Chapter Eleven of IDBiV, if you've read it this outtake will be spoiler-free. Remember Jacob…in the cemetery…and everything that happened after that? This is Edward's point of view.

**Edward's POV – November**

Goat Rock was a U.S. Wilderness Area, a rough unforgiving terrain that cowed even the hardiest of hikers. It was one of our favorite places to hunt when we were in the area, due to the abundance of game and absence of humans, particularly this late in the year when snow had already fallen in the higher elevations. Emmett especially liked chasing bears through the dense woods, and it was one of the few places where hunting actually felt like fun, as opposed to a simple quest for sustenance.

I normally enjoyed myself quite a bit when we hunted there, but I wasn't enjoying myself at all today. I was too far from Bella, and my mind didn't let me forget it for a moment.

We'd spent many hours deep into the night making love, and I still marveled at how she instinctively responded to me, fell apart under my touch...and how she loved me. If I did end up living forever, I knew her love was one thing I would never take for granted. It was a miracle in so many different ways, something that I could think about for endless hours and never grow tired of. _She_ was a miracle.

After Bella had finally fallen asleep, exhausted, I'd held her gently in my arms and called quietly to Alice.

_She'll be fine, Edward!_ she thought back at me, and immediately my mind was flooded with images from Alice's visions: the two of them laughing as Alice applied makeup to her beautiful face. Bella, on the phone. Eating yet another dinner prepared for her by Esme. And then my returning to her Sunday morning. Alice was utterly confident that the three of them could keep Bella busy enough that she would barely notice my absence.

I shook my head, knowing otherwise. There was something supernatural connecting Bella and I, and although I might have more anxiety about our separation, I knew nothing could successfully distract her from it completely. If it weren't for Emmett's insistence, and my own knowledge that Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were more than capable of taking care of my mate, not even brute force could have dragged me away for the weekend.

Now, though, two hundred miles southeast of Forks and Bella, I could feel my unease growing. I hunted half-heartedly, taking down a large buck and finally even a mountain lion, but my heart wasn't in it. I could hear Emmett's mental eye-rolling at my disinterest, and knew that Jasper was keeping his distance from the waves of worry and unhappiness that were pouring off of me. Only Carlisle was hunting nearby.

When I'd taken down another deer, I decided that I'd had enough for the day and began walking slowly back to Emmett's Jeep, where the last trail ended some miles distant. We'd made plans to swing around to the northeastern side of the park after today, since much of the game would have fled our immediate area by nightfall.

I hadn't gone more than a mile, hiking through the thick trees at human speed, when I heard Carlisle's quiet mind behind me and stopped to wait for him. The gentle tenor of his thoughts had always had a reassuring effect on me from the moment I first began to hear them, partway through my change. Carlisle's mind was a deep, fascinating place, but it was always calming, and I let his thoughts influence my own. He wasn't worried about me, he wasn't frustrated as Emmett was, he simply understood my restlessness and accepted it.

"I think Emmett's effectively scared off anything worth hunting in this area," he commented when he was close enough to speak aloud.

I shook my head; once Emmett had quenched his thirst on these hunting trips, he inevitably started playing with the local wildlife, chasing it through the forest for the fun of it, and generally acting like a complete buffoon. Jasper oftentimes joined in, stalking Emmett with military stealth until he got close enough to tackle him, usually taking down a few trees in the process. I didn't normally participate because stalking games were no fun when I could follow the hum of their minds like a homing beacon.

Carlisle fell quietly in step beside me, his thoughts easy and unconcerned. He was thinking about his work schedule for the next week, about Esme, and about me.

"Just please don't tell me that she'll be fine," I finally sighed. "I know she'll be fine. But being away from her like this...it's the furthest I've been from her in months."

"I understand," he replied gently. "You're not having irrational worries as much as you're physically responding to being apart from her."

"Yes," I said immediately, pleased that he'd been able to define the gnawing tug inside of me so neatly. "Rationally, I know it won't be detrimental to our relationship if we're apart every now and then. I'm sure she'll have a good time with a girls' weekend, especially since she and Rosalie have come to an...understanding. But it's as though I'm having a involuntary reaction to being this far away from her. Does that ever get better?"

"In time, yes. There was a time when I couldn't stand to be apart from Esme. Granted, I had to worry about her newborn instincts, but when she finally came to accept and love me, it was more than that. Only decades of being together, of gradually making the unconscious realization that there's no rush, that we have centuries more ahead of us...then it became a little easier. We don't enjoy being apart, but it doesn't cause the anxiety it once did."

"But Esme was a vampire," I said heavily. "Bella...anything could take her from me in a split second. An accident, illness...and I couldn't bear it, Carlisle. I couldn't exist without her."

He accepted that without any thought that I was overreacting. What I said was the truth, and in his centuries of existence, Carlisle _had_ seen mates torn apart, and the irreparable damage done to the one left behind. The thought of it happening to me troubled him deeply. "We can go back tonight, if you like," he offered.

I shook my head. "There's no need for us all to cut the trip short, but I may run back on my own."

"I understand. Alice may not, though."

"I think both Bella and I will overrule any objections Alice may have to my early return."

"Indeed." Carlisle smiled, and in his mind he pictured Bella, and how he'd already accepted her as his next daughter, that he was overjoyed we'd finally come together. It was a comforting image, and one that made me feel better almost instantly. "Perhaps you should call her when we get back to the Jeep? I think we just barely get a signal there."

At his suggestion, I immediately began moving more quickly, wanting to hear Bella's sweet voice in my ear, to have _reassurance_ that she was truly okay. We never bothered to carry our cell phones when we went this deep into the wilderness, they were just an extra thing we might accidentally lose during the hunt, and it wasn't as though we could get a signal that far out anyway.

Carlisle kept pace with me easily. He had no interest in Emmett's silly games either, and his thoughts turned towards calling Esme. We'd just reached the Jeep when Emmett and Jasper burst from the forest in the other direction, laughing and shoving each other. Despite my preoccupation I couldn't help but smile at my brothers; it was a rare pleasure to see Jasper so lighthearted. When around humans in general, or more recently with Bella in the house, he'd had to concentrate so much on resisting the burn their scents provoked that he was quiet and reserved more often than not.

As I opened the back of the Jeep and began rummaging through my backpack, looking for my phone, I heard the quiet press of buttons as Carlisle turned his own phone on and dialed into the voicemail. Not wanting to eavesdrop, I turned my attention towards finally unearthing my cell phone, and concentrating on Jasper and Emmett's continued horseplay.

"Hey man, at least I'm giving you a choice here. You lost, I won, fair and square. Now either give up the grand or you're drinking the first mountain goat we come across."

I shuddered in revulsion and heard a corresponding noise of disgust from Jasper. "I'll give you the money when we get back to Forks, you know I didn't bring that much with me."

"Goat blood it is then!" Emmett crowed. "Don't worry, I'll help you pick out a nice stinky one…"

_...Bella!_

That singular thought from Carlisle's mind pierced me, ramming through the slight mental block I'd put up against his thoughts, and the flash of worry and anger that accompanied it made my body react in an instant. My fingers reflexively closed around the cell phone I'd finally found, crushing it with a protesting squeal of plastic and technology. I dropped it, and was at Carlisle's side before it even hit the ground.

"What is it?"

_She's fine now, Edward, please..._

"_Where is she?_" I roared into Carlisle's firm expression. Terror like I'd never known before poured through my body, knowing that _something_ was wrong with Bella, and I was too far away to protect her from whatever it was.

"Edward, stop, please."

I vaguely felt Emmett and Jasper's hands gripping my arms, and I realized I'd been practically shoving Carlisle back against the Jeep. They had me restrained before I could react, and I only struggled for a moment before I froze, then whipped my head back to Carlisle.

"Where. Is. She?" I asked carefully, willing myself to get all the information I needed before I took action. Bella, Bella, _Bella_...I couldn't panic now, I couldn't let her down again.

Carlisle gently put his hand on my shoulder, although Emmett and Jasper's grips didn't relax at all. "She's fine, Edward, I promise you that. Please calm down and listen to me."

"Tell me _now_," I ground out.

My mind was immediately filled with the sound of a piano concerto by Mozart, one of the few things Carlisle used to keep me out of his mind. It usually made me smile, because it was fairly rare that Carlisle felt the need to block me, but now it only heightened my dread.

"Bella was visiting her father's grave and had an...encounter with Jacob Black. It would seem that he's joined the other Quileutes in phasing."

I froze, the awfulness of his words washing over me. Jacob...a wolf now..._Bella!_

"He somehow discerned that Bella is now acquainted with us, and tried to take her to La Push for what he felt was her own safety. Esme, Rosalie, and Alice intervened. They've taken her back to the house."

I started struggling against Jasper and Emmett again, panic threatening to sweep over me and drag me under. This, _this_ was exactly what I'd been terrified would happen...that the mutt would either injure her in his unbridled frenzy as a young werewolf, or that any of the Quileutes would find out about Bella's relationship with my family. And I'd left her anyway, left her and he'd seized the opportunity.

"Is she hurt?" Emmett grunted out, getting a tighter grip on my bicep and shoulder.

"I don't think so, I'm sure Esme would have said so if she was, or they..." Carlisle cut off his words then, but I roughly shoved my way through the thinning streams of Mozart and pushed into his mind, hearing what he'd almost said aloud.

..._they would have taken her to the hospital._

At the idea of Bella...my mate, the only true reason for my continued existence, being injured, broken, put in the hospital by that mangy cur...it was at that moment that the last shred of humanity in me dissolved and all my vampire impulses snapped to the forefront. I could feel my eyes turn to the inky black of a bloodthirsty killer, the terror that had gripped me exploding into rage. There were only two thoughts in my mind now, and both were imperative: the instinct to protect my mate; and the absolute need to destroy, to _obliterate_ the threat to her.

"Hold him!" I heard Carlisle shout as though from far away, as I fought against the hands that were restraining me, preventing me from getting to _Bella_. I knew the feral snarls were coming from me, could hear the panicked shouts, but they didn't matter. Every fiber of my being was straining toward the northwest, to where she was, where she needed me.

There was a wrenching, the whoosh of air, and then an explosive thud that knocked all the unnecessary air out of my lungs as I was thrown to the ground, the three men around me overcoming my struggles even as I fought against them. I bared my teeth, I snapped, I raved like a madman. I batted away Jasper's desperate attempt to calm me mentally as though it were an annoying insect. For the first time, I fought violently against my family, because they were trying to keep me away from _Bella_.

"We can't get him back to Forks in the Jeep like this."

"We can't let him go either. We have no idea what he might do in this state."

Oh, but I knew, and the moment the idea came to me, the monster I'd become pounced on it with dark glee. I wanted to murder, I wanted to burn. I wanted to raze all of La Push to the ground, ripping the throat out of every last Quileute to ensure their eternal damnation for posing a threat to my mate. Not until the sky was black with their ashes and the ground red with their blood would I stop. Not until every iota of threat they posed had vanished from this earth.

Jasper groaned as the violent plans tore through my mind. "Carlisle, do something, please..."

"Edward!" Never had I heard Carlisle's voice like that, harsh as a cracking whip, echoing the centuries he'd lived, the side of him we never saw. "Stop this immediately! Bella is in no danger at this moment, but you can't get to her until you've calmed down! _Obey me, Edward!"_

It was his final words, spat out in a tone of such cold authority that for a moment I was disoriented, unconvinced that it had been my gentle sire who'd uttered them. I stared at him in disbelief, shivers still wracking my tense frame, slowly becoming aware that my arms and legs were pinned to the ground by Jasper and Emmett, Carlisle's hands were pressing against my chest. Even with rage fueling me, I couldn't physically fight them off.

"Let me go."

Carlisle's eyes, which had blackened and become as cold as his voice, softened slightly. "We can't. But we _can_ take you to Bella. Bella is safe. Bella is at home. You need to go to her, _straight_ to her."

"I'll run..." I said thickly, trying to process his words. He was right, I needed to be with Bella, she needed my protection. I would eliminate the threat after I'd seen for myself that she was unharmed.

"No, we'll take you. Now, all of us. We'll go together."

Yes, together. I could make absolute certain of the Quileutes' extinction with my family's help. "Please...Carlisle..."

Carlisle nodded and I was hauled unceremoniously to my feet by Emmett and Jasper. I gave a moment's consideration to trying to break free and run as I was dragged over to the Jeep, but their grasps didn't relax at all as I was shoved into the back seat and bracketed by their unyielding forms. Carlisle was in the driver's seat in a flash of movement, and then the Jeep's engine roared as he turned around and we headed back down the rutted trail.

It was a miracle that the Jeep wasn't torn apart as Carlisle pushed it unmercifully over a trail that had barely been passable when we'd crept up it earlier in the day. I could hear his thoughts, a steely grim determination that _they_ would get me back to Forks. I could hear the shock in Emmett and Jasper's minds, could see how I'd appeared to them. They'd never seen that murderous creature inside of me, one that would sacrifice anything and everything to protect his mate.

When we finally got onto Highway 12, Carlisle pushed the Jeep ever harder, to the limit of its engine and of the twists, turns, and blind spots in the road. We were at the I-5 interchange within fifteen minutes, just as the last fingers of twilight gave way into night. I swallowed back more pleas that they let me go, that I be allowed to run through the forest to get to Bella, instead of staying confined to these meandering roads that only lengthened our journey.

We were hurtling down the entrance ramp to the interstate, accelerating hard, when a sudden flash of red lights ahead had Carlisle's foot immediately jamming on the brake, slowing the Jeep so abruptly that it might have broken a human's neck. The tires squealed in protest, and both Emmett and Jasper cursed aloud.

_...traffic jam_...

That thought from Carlisle's mind, and the wave of frustration that accompanied it, along with my brothers' momentary distraction, were all I needed. I wrenched first away from Jasper, since I knew his reflexes and response would be quicker, rolling swiftly over Emmett's hulking body and throwing myself out the window, breaking the glass as I went. The moment my feet hit the pavement I was running, uncaring of any humans who might see me, ignoring the shouts of the three I'd left in the Jeep. I turned to the northwest and plunged into the forest, drawn toward Bella as steadily as a magnet would pull a needle.

I'd thought that once I was running, I'd feel a modicum of relief, to know I was going to her as swiftly as was allowable by the laws of science and nature. But I didn't, my anxiety only increased, and I pushed myself on, running faster than I ever had in my life.

Thoughts of murder returned to my mind more than once, and as I crossed Highway 8 between Montesano and McCleary, I very nearly turned to go directly into the heart of the reservation. It would be so easy to go there first, to wipe them out under cover of darkness, before a single wolf had the chance to phase in defense. I could eliminate the threat so that I could go to Bella with an untroubled mind, so that I wouldn't frighten her by letting her see the vampire I truly was.

But the thought of Bella frightened by _anything_ quelled me immediately, and I skirted the easternmost edge of the reservation before turning again to the northwest and running the last few miles to Forks.

I could smell the faintest trace of her scent the moment I came within a few hundred yards of the house, and I could hear the steady beat of her heart when I burst through the doors. That sound was my beacon, but I couldn't feel her _mind_, and that terror pushed me up the stairs, flinging open my bedroom door so violently that it was nearly torn from the hinges.

My sudden entrance startled her, her deep brown eyes were wide and her face was pale. She was there, she was whole, but I couldn't _hear _her. I snatched her up in my arms, pulling her to me, thankfully remembering at the last moment to be careful of her fragile human body. I carried her to the bed, pressing frantic kisses against her lips. I needed to feel their warmth, to feel the blood that pulsed just under her delicate skin, to _know_ that she was safe.

"Bella, I can't… I can't hear you." My voice was desperate, but I couldn't moderate it. "Please Bella, look at me. Please let me in."

Long dark eyelashes untangled and her eyes were open to me, letting me in. I plummeted into her mind...falling...always falling...and letting _her_ catch _me._

**xoxoxoxo**

I held her in my arms later, carefully mindful of the damage I now knew Jacob had done to her wrist. The cur would pay, I would see to it myself. But for the time being, it was enough to have her safely beside me, with my ring on her finger. This woman who would now be my _wife_.

My vampire brain was hammering madly through many channels even as I reveled in the peace that Bella always brought me. I owed Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett apologies, even though I knew from their thoughts that it wasn't necessary and that they weren't expecting any such thing. All three of them understood very well the vampire instinct to protect one's mate, and each of them would probably have reacted in much the same way.

I was deeply in debt to Rosalie, Alice, and Esme for protecting Bella...I'd seen their actions in her mind, and was humbled by gratitude that almost brought me to my knees. Esme was as kind and gentle as Carlisle, and Rosalie may not have been her best friend, but they'd both helped Alice to defend the daughter and sister they already loved. There hadn't been a moment's hesitation and I knew they would have fought to the death, had it come to that, to protect my mate.

Part of me was ruefully disappointed that our plans had changed yet _again_, although there was nothing disappointing about hearing Bella say _yes_ to my proposal of marriage. We'd known we'd be married by the year's end, we'd discussed it, but it was an entirely new feeling to have that symbol of our commitment glinting on the ring finger of her left hand. She was mine...my wife, my mate, my _life_.

I picked up her left hand and kissed the ring before turning it over and pressing another kiss into her palm. "I love you so much," I murmured against her soft skin, almost too quietly for her to hear.

"I love you too," she said softly. "Nothing will ever change that."

"Nothing, and no _one_," I vowed. I hadn't told Bella about any of the various ways I'd pondered torturing Jacob Black to a slow death, there was no reason to put a shadow over her happiness now.

She shook her head and a tiny grin twisted her lips. "Silly vampire. No _one_ will ever come between us either. It will always be us. Edward and Bella."

I groaned and began peppering soft kisses down over her jaw. "Say that again."

"Edward and Bella. _Cullen_. Edward and Bella Cullen."

Her words shot a thrill through me, a reaffirmation of something I'd known to be true, but couldn't get enough of hearing. "Again?" I begged, moving to lick the hollow of her throat.

She gasped. "Bella Cullen. Married…_oh_…to Edward Cullen. Your wife. Yours."

I growled softly as arousal began pushing my more tender feelings to the side. I hadn't intended on making love to her, although I wanted to, as I was sure she was exhausted both mentally and physically from all that had occurred that day. I couldn't help myself, though, anymore than I could keep from touching her, kissing her, reassuring myself that she was safe, she was in my arms, that _we_ were whole again. "Bella…"

"I'm okay," she replied immediately, somehow knowing exactly what I was thinking, as though she were the mind-reader. "I want you too. Please…"

Words weren't needed after that, they never were when she opened herself to me, body and soul. I ripped my clothes away in an instant, and then removed hers more carefully, moving slowly around her injured wrist. The moment she lay nude beneath me, the heat of her body scorching the ice of mine, instinct began to tug at me again and I had to keep from going too quickly. But I wanted to take her hard and fast, a frantic reminder to prove to myself that everything was all right.

Evidently I moved too slowly, because she moaned beneath me, reaching around to dig her fingernails against my unyielding skin, mutely begging me to push inside her. I hesitated only a moment more between her thighs before I flexed my hips forward in one sweet thrust, seating myself completely inside her.

The heat, oh the _heat_…always that was the first thing that hit me like a wrecking ball. Bella's warm trusting body, wrapped around every inch of me, her arms and legs gripping me tighter…this was heaven. I could hear both the wordless hum and pulse of pleasure in her mind, and the soft pants and little pleas that fell from her lips.

As always, it was simultaneously too much and yet never enough. I could never get enough of her.

I plunged into her as deeply and quickly as I could, setting my movements according to her mind's reaction. I didn't need to open my eyes to know when her head fell back in ecstasy, but I did. I didn't have to listen for her heartbeat and breathing to accelerate to know her climax was close, but my body was so attuned to hers that it matched hers breath-for-breath. And when she did come, in an exquisite release where her body sang in harmony with mine, I fell apart inside of her.

Bella's breaths were almost sobs, but I felt in her mind the joy and utter contentment we made together, and I knew that _we_ were safe in our little world. Even her final release was like an aphrodisiac, and I could have immediately taken her again.

I didn't, however, instead gently easing myself from her body and crooning to her until she fell asleep, her mind slowly fading closed to me as she drifted into unconsciousness. I wanted her to rest, to get as much sleep as possible before morning came.

Because downstairs, I could hear the busy thoughts of six vampires preparing for a wedding.


	5. EPOV Chapters 14 and 15

Hello and welcome to _IDBiV Outtakes, Oneshots_! Here you'll find scenes that either just didn't quite fit into the flow of _I Don't Believe in Vampires_, or that fill in the little blanks or questions you may have had here and there. They will not necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll post pre-reading details/suggestions/spoiler alerts before each one. Got a suggestion/request for an outtake? Either leave me a comment or send me a PM! I can't promise I'll be able to write an outtake for all suggestions, but I DO promise to take them all into consideration!

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All original characters, plots, and the storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Lazykate. This story may not be reproduced or reposted without permission from the author.**

**xoxoxoxoxo**

_This outtake encompasses Chapter 14-15 of I Don't Believe in Vampires. If you haven't read the main story yet, please stop now and go do so. This is EPOV, I hope you enjoy._

**EPOV**

Thursday afternoon was the first day I was able to leave Port Angeles to go hunt. The memory of my terror from almost two weeks ago hadn't faded at all, but a scolding phone call from Alice reminded me that I still needed to feed on a semi-regular basis. I'd thought about leaving Bella with Carlisle for a few hours that evening while I slipped out for a longer hunt, but decided that I wouldn't leave her side again while we were in Forks. Not with Jacob and the Quileutes only a few miles away.

Bella had driven herself to school that morning, and reminded me that she'd be staying late for a study group. I swallowed back words that I knew were unnecessary, biting my tongue before I implored her again to be careful, to stay with others at all times, to keep her cell phone on. She smiled softly as she ran her hand over my face, and then gave me a warm sweet kiss just before whispering "Don't worry."

"I'll have dinner waiting."

My own dinner was, regretfully, nowhere near as convenient as my wife's. To maintain an appearance of normalcy, I had to drive out of the Port Angeles city limits, park on a long-abandoned trail just out of sight of the road, and run through the woods from there. Game was sparse so close to town, and I didn't dare leave the Volvo for too long, lest some well-meaning humans find it and call the police. It would be a relief once Bella and I were safely away in Alaska at the end of the year. And after her change, I could teach _her_ how to hunt.

The thought brought a faint smile to my face as I scooped up my keys. I would hunt a little longer today...Bella had already commented on how dark my eyes were becoming...and be back well before she came home from school.

My phone hummed in my pocket just as I was leaving the apartment building, and a quick glance at the display told me that it was Carlisle calling. Most likely to inquire if Bella and I still intended on coming to Forks, but I'd spoken to him the day before. I frowned a little as I flipped it open.

"Carlisle?"

"Hello Edward. Do you have a moment?"

His voice was calm, but I knew that he wouldn't call unless it was important, and I hastened my steps toward my car. "What is it?"

"I just received a phone call from Billy Black. The Quileute elders have requested a meeting with me later today, and I'd like for you to be there."

My frown deepened as I slid into the driver's seat of the Volvo. "What time did they want to meet?"

"Three o'clock."

"In the morning?"

"No, less than three hours from now. I'm not sure of the reason for their haste. Billy was very vague on the phone, but I got the impression that they want to renegotiate the treaty."

I blew out a long breath, my suspicions already aroused. "Do you think it's a trap?"

"I don't think so, but obviously nothing is assured at this point. Can you come now?"

Now? A three o'clock meeting time...it would have to be an impossibly-short meeting for me to be able to make it back to Port Angeles before Bella arrived home, and I had absolutely no doubt that the _dog_ might plan on taking advantage of my planned absence. "Carlisle...I can't. I can't leave Bella unprotected for that long."

He didn't argue, having witnessed my panic from two weeks ago when I'd found out that the mutt had approached my mate and tried to drag her to the reservation. "Is there a friend she could go stay with, after school?" he finally suggested.

"No, and even if there was, I wouldn't trust them to protect her. This whole thing seems like a trap to me...to get me away so _he_ can get to her." I raked my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry, Carlisle, but I can't."

"Think logically, though, Edward." There was no condemnation or impatience in his voice, and I forced myself to listen. "Unless they've been watching you in Port Angeles, and I'm sure you'd have picked up on that by now, they probably don't even know you're still here. And I very seriously doubt they know about you and Bella. You have no reason for being there at all, so why would they have a plan to lure you away?"

I sat silently, recognizing the truth in his statement. I hadn't caught any sight or scent of the wolves in Port Angeles, and I'd been canvassing the town obsessively while Bella was in school. They probably did believe I'd left for Alaska with the rest of my family, and I had no doubt that we would have seen some reaction from them if they'd known the extent of my relationship with Bella. For Carlisle to meet with the Quileutes alone was simply out of the question, and it was certainly a given that I should be there with him. But none of that changed the fact that I would _not_ leave Bella unprotected.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I finally managed. "But I can't. I _can't_."

"What if Bella stayed here, at the house?" he offered quietly. "Rosalie is still here, she could stay with her."

I shook my head, frustrated. "Bella won't be done with school until five o'clock, and I don't want to drag her out of class to sit at the house with Rose."

"What if Rosalie came there, then?"

I hesitated. Bella far away from the Quileutes, in Port Angeles, and with a vampire bodyguard was a much more palatable option than anything else, but I'd sworn two weeks ago that I wouldn't leave her without _my_ protection ever again. "I don't know."

"It's your decision, Edward, but keep in mind that what they want to discuss may very well be about their knowledge of Bella's friendship with us. The treaty has stood for decades, but just days after their discovery, they've asked for a renegotiation. It has to be because of Bella."

The desire to protect my mate battled with common sense. Bella would be safer in our apartment in Port Angeles than she would be in Forks, and Rosalie had already proven herself ably as a guardian. If the wolves' motivations for requesting the meeting involved Bella in any way, I needed to know about it, especially if the knowledge could only be gleaned from their minds instead of their words.

"Is Rosalie there?" I asked finally.

"Yes, she's standing right here."

"Put her on, please."

I heard Rosalie's exasperated sigh before she even spoke. "I was planning on leaving today, Edward. You know that."

I fought back my irritation at her selfishness; I was already testy enough at the idea of leaving Bella, and Rosalie's attitude didn't make it any easier. "Rose, will you please just come here and bring her to Forks after she gets home from school? The meeting with the Quileutes will be over by the time you arrive."

"You want me to play _chauffeur_?" Her tone was incredulous. "She's a big girl, Edward, give her some credit!"

"She's a big girl who just so happens to attract a lot of attention from our natural enemies!" I snapped. "Am I really asking you to do so much? Just when I thought you were starting to like Bella..."

"I _do_ like Bella, this has nothing to do with it!" she shot back. "She managed to live on the reservation with them for almost six months, why are you so worried about this now?"

I saw again in my mind Rosalie's thoughts that day: the tense standoff between Jacob and my family, the purplish bruise that had only just faded from Bella's delicate wrist. "The _difference_, if I have to spell it out for you, is that her one-time best friend is a new werewolf. One that attempted to drag her to the reservation, requiring _your_ intervention!"

There was an aggravated huff from Rosalie, and I continued. "Your friendship with Bella is already known to the Quileutes, in case they see you with her. I should already be back at the house by the time you get there, but I'll call you if anything changes. _Please_, Rosalie."

There was a brief silence before she spoke again. "Fine. But after this, if you're going to insist that she be treated like she's helpless, then _you_ can do all the babysitting!"

An angry growl escaped from my throat, but then Carlisle was back on the line again. "Calm down, Edward. She'll do it and Bella will be fine."

"She could be a little less condescending about it," I ground out.

He sighed. "Yes, but...she's agreed. Are you able to come now?"

I turned the key and the Volvo's engine started with a roar. "I'll be there in half an hour."

**xoxoxoxo**

Billy Black had asked that Carlisle meet them at an old abandoned general store, on the road to La Push, about a mile outside of the treaty line. As Carlisle drove us there in his Mercedes, I tapped my fingers nervously against the windowsill, my anxiety at being so far from Bella already escalating.

"Try to calm down, Edward," Carlisle said after a few minutes. "The Quileutes may not be mind-readers, but they'll sense your anxiety immediately. I know it's difficult to separate yourself from the world that you and Bella have created, but remember how it must appear to them. You and Rosalie are leaving for Alaska this evening. Our family only is and ever has been just friends with Isabella Swan. Any more interest in her on our part will arouse suspicion."

"I know," I said curtly, unable to still my fingers from their tapping. "But surely you can understand why I'm so on-edge."

"Of course I do. Just keep in mind how odd it will look to them. Concentrate on paying close attention to their thoughts, for any sign of duplicity. Rosalie will take care of Bella."

I nodded. Rose had departed for Port Angeles hissing like an angry cat when I insisted that she leave immediately. I'd realized too late that if Bella's study group was canceled, she might arrive home early. I'd been ready to turn around and head back, but with Carlisle's quiet intervention, Rose had snatched the apartment key out of my hand and left in a huff. I was trying not to let her attitude affect my own anxiety, but at some point I'd be having words with my blonde adopted sister.

The car slowed as we approached the old general store, both of us automatically assessing the situation we were walking into. I'd half-expected the entire tribe and wolfpack to be present, but there were only a few cars parked out front. By the quiet buzz of thoughts that immediately began peppering my mind, there were no more than six or seven Quileutes present. There were at least four phased wolves further back in the woods, though. I quickly informed Carlisle of their presence, and he nodded.

"Keep your mind and ears open, Edward. I would prefer to keep this as peaceful as possible, but let me know if there's any sign of deceit on their part."

We emerged from the car then, and at the sound of the doors slamming, a young man appeared on the dilapidated front porch. He wasn't familiar to me personally, but I recognized him immediately from Rose, Alice, and Esme's memories. This was Sam Uley, probably the so-called alpha of the current pack.

He gave us a cold look and the hatred in his thoughts immediately hit me. _Filthy stinking bloodsuckers...Billy didn't say two would be coming...good thing I decided to make Jake stay at home..._

A good thing indeed, the meeting probably would not go well if I ripped Jacob's arms out of their sockets for daring to touch my wife.

Sam turned without a word, disappearing into the building, and Carlisle and I followed him silently. I skimmed over the thoughts of those already inside, but found none that indicated we were in immediate danger.

The dusty interior of the building had been lit with battery-powered lamps, and sitting in a line facing the door was what I presumed to be the Quileute tribal council. I recognized Billy Black from the high school graduation months earlier, but the others were strangers to me. Sam went to stand just off to the side, next to another bare-chested youth.

Carlisle nodded politely to the line of elders, not in the least put off by their icy demeanor. "Good afternoon."

Billy Black was interested in no such pleasantries, and after giving me a suspicious look, spoke. "Dr. Cullen, the tribal council has requested this meeting to discuss the treaty that has stood for some time between your family and the Quileute people."

"You said so on the phone, yes."

"To be brief, we feel that the integrity of the treaty is compromised with your continued interaction with the humans of the area."

"The integrity of the treaty has been maintained for decades," Carlisle replied easily. "We've given you no cause to doubt that."

"Your presence is dangerous enough, but greater interaction poses a greater threat," disputed the sole woman on the council. "You should not befriend the humans."

Carlisle tilted his head to the side slightly, feigning ignorance. "Do you refer to all humans, or one human in particular?"

"Cease your games," snapped another elder. "Your friendship with Bella Swan has clearly demonstrated that interaction between humans and the Cold Ones is dangerous. It stands to reason that it would be the same for all humans."

"I was not present at the incident I'm sure you're referring to, but it is my understanding that one of your own posed the danger to Bella Swan." Carlisle's tone was still easy and light, but the meaning of his words was clear.

A wave of discord rippled across the minds of all present. They knew exactly what Carlisle meant, and Billy Black frowned.

"I make no excuses for my son's behavior, but in his defense, he genuinely believed he was protecting the one he thinks of as his sister from you. What use does one of your kind have for a human girl?"

"Bella Swan befriended my daughter Alice while they were in school together. You may think of us as demons, but we certainly are capable of forming friendships. We pose no threat to Bella."

The woman shook her head. "She knows what you are, and is still your friend?"

My temper flared at the dismissive way the woman referred to Bella, but I remained silent, letting Carlisle speak for us.

"Bella is a remarkable individual," Carlisle said mildly. "As well as very observant. She discerned the differences in us very quickly and put the pieces together on her own. Any time she spent with us was of her own free will, and my daughter was very disappointed to lose a friend in the course of this move."

The disbelief was plain in the minds and on the faces across from us.

"We have much to talk about," Billy Black finally said, before turning and gesturing at the young man who stood next to Sam Uley. "Get them chairs so that they can sit."

**xoxoxoxo**

It was just over three hours later when Carlisle and I finally emerged from the building. The discussions with the Quileutes had not been friendly ones, especially after Carlisle flatly rejected their request that we abstain from interacting with _any_ humans in any way. He'd pointed out the foolishness of their request, and that the more we alienated ourselves from society, the odder we'd look, thus piquing humans' curiosity even more.

The atmosphere in the room had been cold by the time Carlisle and Billy Black had agreed to leave the treaty as it stood in the face of our imminent departure. My own anxiety spiked exponentially as we climbed into Carlisle's car and I checked my watch: it was just after six o'clock and Bella would be arriving at our home any moment, if she wasn't there already. Technically our property was considered off-limits for the wolves, but that logic did nothing to calm me down. I wouldn't rest easy until my wife was safely in my arms.

I was pulling out my phone, intent on calling her even though we'd be at the house within minutes, when Carlisle spoke. "You and Bella will need to be very careful for the rest of your time here. I have no doubt the Quileutes would proactively break the treaty if they knew about the two of you."

"Billy Black in particular was very focused on her safety," I agreed, pressing the speed-dial button. For some reason, my anxiety was growing instead of easing as we passed through Forks, and I _needed_ to hear Bella's voice.

"You'll need to be even more cautious about appearing in public now, even without her," Carlisle continued, but my attention was now completely on my phone as the call rang once, and then went directly to Bella's voicemail.

"What the hell?" I muttered, before trying again. This time it didn't ring at all before Bella's sweet voice chimed in my ear, asking me to leave a message.

"What is it?"

"She's not answering her phone...it's going straight to voicemail, like she turned it off."

Carlisle frowned. "Is that normal for her?"

I pressed the button for the third time, running my hand roughly through my hair. "No. She promised me she'd keep it turned on any time the two of us weren't together."

The moment we crossed out of town, Carlisle pushed the accelerator hard, and we were at our drive within two minutes. I was just about to try calling Rosalie when my phone rang, and I barely caught sight of Alice's name on the display before I snapped it up to my ear.

"Alice?"

"Edward! Where's Bella?" The panic in her voice was the final spark that ignited the terror that had been building in my chest. Something was very wrong.

I was vaguely aware that Carlisle had slammed on the brakes and had yanked out his own cell phone, but my full attention was on Alice. "What's wrong, Alice?"

"I don't know! I saw her earlier in her apartment with Rosalie, and then the next thing I saw was her…oh God, Edward, you've got to find her!"

Every muscle in my body went rigid as dread poured through me. "Alice, _tell me what you saw!_"

"She's in the woods somewhere," Alice sobbed. "I don't know where, all I can see is her in the woods, and she's hurt and bleeding. Edward, please hurry, _please_!"

"_Where_ in the woods?" I snarled into the phone, one hand flashing to the door handle.

"I don't know! All I see is trees and she's lying on the ground…"

"Keeping looking!" I barked, before snapping the phone shut, turning to meet Carlisle's eyes. "Where is Rosalie?"

"She said Bella convinced her to go on to Alaska, that she'd made the drive on her own so many times before…"

"Alice said she's in the woods somewhere, that she's hurt…" I shoved the door open, pausing only when Carlisle's hand gripped my arm.

"Edward…if she was driving herself, she may have been in an accident. You go up the 101, I'll follow you with the car. Keep your phone, I'll call you if Alice sees anything else."

I gave him a brief nod and then plunged into the forest, immediately pushing my legs to carry me faster. I kept to the treeline until I was well away from the more densely populated area, and then I leapt onto the pavement of the 101, running faster than ever.

_Bella_…

The panic was still there, threatening to overwhelm my mind and my senses, but instinct had completely taken over my body now, and I was completely focused on my goal.

_Bella…_

That faint heartbeat between us, the one we'd both fully recognized on our wedding night, was throbbing in my chest. It had been there consistently all day, throughout the meeting with the Quileutes, and it was what I was counting on to help me find her. I could search the air for her scent, train my ears to listen for her heartbeat, but I knew that that indefinable connection between us was what would lead me to her. She'd called it gravity, whatever it was that tied our souls together, and just as gravity could hold us to the earth, _our_ gravity would pull me to her.

I ran steadily, letting that connection guide me. I'd almost reached Lake Crescent when suddenly a new scent faintly caught my attention and I jarred to an immediate stop.

Gasoline. Motor oil. The green tang of freshly broken trees and bushes.

"Bella…" I whispered, before breaking into a frantic run. The throb in my chest tugged at me urgently, and I knew I was close…just as a new scent, mixed with the others, hit me with the force of a wrecking ball.

Her blood.

"_Bella!" _I screamed, repeating her name incessantly as I cut back into the woods, knowing she was here…but the blood…

The scent of it grew stronger with every step I took, and the panic I'd kept at bay boiled up uncontrollably. So much blood, too much blood. There wasn't an ounce of thirst in my throat, only a sick tightness at the realization that I smelled _too much blood_ mixed in with the other scents.

A few more panicked steps and I was there. A nightmare of a scene: Bella's truck, the sturdy front end smashed headlong into a heavy pine; the crushed brush and saplings marking her descent down an embankment from the road above…and a figure crumpled beside a tree, unmoving on the frozen ground.

The throb in my chest wrenched as I dropped to my knees, every iota of strength completely gone. The blood was everywhere, a thick trail of droplets from the truck to her body, a pool slowly soaking into the forest floor. _Too much blood…_

But it was fresh, still slowly draining from her body…and realization roared over me as one sound cut through the paralyzing terror.

Her heart. A slow, sluggish heartbeat, beckoning me onward. She was holding on, her broken body was holding on. Waiting for me.

There was no instinct coolly dictating my movement now, in a split second I was at her side, lifting her even as I cried out her name.

Her eyes didn't open and her painful shallow breaths were heavy with the scent of blood. A ghastly wound traversed the width of her forehead, splitting it open to the bone. I carefully sat her up against the tree, hearing the gurgle of fluid in her lungs, and my fingers quickly ran over her body, searching for any other injury even as I continued to call her name and beg her to stay with me.

"Bella," I pled, "Can you hear me?"

At that, she wheezed faintly and tried to speak, but a gush of blood poured up over her lips and down her chin, and panic seized me anew. "Carlisle is coming with the car now, love. We'll get you to the hospital. I promise you, you'll be okay."

Her eyelids barely flickered in response, but she found the strength to lift her hand to my arm, and I immediately grasped it in my own. There was no warmth under the soft skin I knew so well.

Carlisle, I needed Carlisle.

I somehow found my phone and pressed the right buttons, and he answered before it had a chance to ring.

"Did you…"

"She's hurt, Carlisle, I need you here now, _please_."

"Where exactly are you?"

I gave him my best guess as to our location. "Roll down your window, you'll be able to smell it. Oh God, there's so much blood…"

"Stay calm, Edward, and keep her still. I'll be there within a minute at the most."

I snapped my phone shut and shoved it back into my pocket, wondering if I should try to carry her closer to the road. Even as the thought crossed my mind, Bella's head lolled forward like a broken doll, and there was no strength in her neck as I gently cupped her chin in my hand to tip it back up. "Love, please stay with me… Bella, _please_…"

Her blood-covered lips parted just slightly. "Edward…"

I seized desperately onto that faint whisper; as long as she was able to talk, the blood rushing into her lungs hadn't drowned her. "Yes, love, yes… talk to me, stay with me, oh God please just keep talking to me…"

The effort was too much, though, and her lips trembled once and then went slack. I squeezed her hand, almost too hard, but there was no reassuring pressure back. No…

I heard Carlisle's car over the roaring in my ears, his running footsteps that carried him to us. A quick clinical assessment confirmed what I already knew, but it was treatable, her heart was still beating, and we were close enough to Port Angeles that…

And then the thought from Carlisle's mind cut through me as no spoken words could. _Edward, we can't save her. You must change her, now._

No. _No_. Bella was supposed to be spared all of the pain, the agony that would burn every last cell in her body before hardening it into stone. She wasn't supposed to feel the excruciating asphyxiation as her heart tried desperately to keep beating, trying to fight off the inexorable death of each of her internal organs, one after another.

She wasn't supposed to suffer because of _me_.

"Not here, not like this. Please Carlisle, isn't there…"

His golden eyes reflected the regret and pain I knew he felt, but the resolve in his mind was as firm as his words. "Edward, I know her wishes as well as you do. If you can't do it, I will, but I need you to decide _now_. I don't know how much longer she'll be able to hold on. She's been out here too long."

_Her body is already shutting down,_ he added silently. _Edward...I don't know if she'll survive the change. I can't promise you that she will. But she will be dead within a few minutes if you don't act now._

I could hear harsh sobs, and had the faint realization that they were mine. He was right, I knew he was right. I knew what Bella would want me to do, were she able to speak, and as if to confirm it she stirred faintly in my arms.

"We'll leave from here, immediately. Bella, can you hear me?"

There was a spastic twitch that resonated through her entire body, more blood that gushed from her mouth. From a part of my history long past, I recognized the signs and knew that she was slipping away, that it was the body's final desperate rebellion against the inevitable.

Carlisle said something else, but I was already completely fixated on her as I gently brushed my fingers over her face. "My love, my Bella, I'm so sorry… I never meant for it to be like this."

I hoped that she heard me.

Carlisle put a steady hand on my shoulder, but even as I pulled her into my lap and carefully drew her sticky hair away from her neck, even as I settled my lips and teeth against a pulse point that was now barely a flutter, even as the first taste of her blood-slick skin met my tongue…I felt no bloodlust.

I was giving my beloved life. She had asked me to make her mine, forever. Now it was time for me to give her that.

My teeth pressed into her with a gentleness I'd never exercised before, years and years ago. Her skin and flesh gave way easily, parting to allow me access to the artery that immediately sliced open just ahead of another rush of blood, this time directly into my mouth. Mindful that without the bloodlust, I'd be unable to produce enough venom to initiate the change, I took one careful pull from her. The sweet taste of Bella rippled over my tongue, and finally the venom began to flow in an instinctive response. Carlisle's hand tightened minutely on my shoulder, but I needed no reminder as I allowed my venom to seep into her, then carefully drew my tongue over the wound, sealing it up again. She moaned faintly.

_Her wrists too, Edward…the more points at which the venom enters her bloodstream, the greater the chance she'll survive long enough for it to take effect. _

Following Carlisle's silent urging, I picked up each of Bella's limp arms and kissed her wrist before repeating the process of biting, drinking, and closing. She was completely silent now, the sound of her heartbeat barely audible even to Carlisle and I.

_Hold her still, she's so weak that even now she could die from her injuries. Once the venom reaches her heart, it will act as a stimulant and keep it beating long enough for the rest to spread throughout her body. Her lungs are what worry me, you must keep her breathing no matter what._

I nodded once to show I understood, and we waited silently for a few minutes which may as well have been years, even to the immortal. It wasn't until Bella flinched and then suddenly moaned that the faint thread of hope I was clinging to disappeared. "Carlisle?"

He stood quickly. "Carry her up to the car and get into the backseat. I'll call Alice and ask her to look ahead for us."

I'd never bitten a human for the purpose of changing, only to kill. I knew nothing of the initial process of the change. "Is she…"

"I don't know. I think you may have found her just in time; her heartbeat is faint but fairly steady. You'll have to monitor her condition, if you want me to drive." He was already striding away from us, the decision made, and I carefully gathered my wife into my arms. Her weight was nothing, of course, but now more than ever she felt like a fragile piece of ice or glass. I was afraid to hold her as tightly as I wanted to, focusing instead on the faint moans puffing from her lips with every ragged exhale.

Carlisle held the rear door of his car open for us, but I must have moved the wrong way as I stooped to seat us on the long leather seat. With strength she'd been lacking since I'd found her, Bella suddenly began struggling in my arms, her faint panting now only a sickening gurgle as she fought for air.

"Hold her sitting upright against you," Carlisle said quickly, already in the car with us, helping to arrange her in a sitting position: her back against my chest, legs tucked securely between mine. Her breath rattled as the fluid in her lungs shifted, but she began the faint panting again.

"Can't you give her something?" I demanded desperately. I knew there was nothing more I could do to hurry along her change, but I would give my life to spare her even a moment of this suffering.

Carlisle shook his head, quickly examining her head wound, listening to the heartbeat that was already quickening, the blood that continued to trickle into her lungs. "All I have is morphine, and with the respiratory distress it will do more harm than good. Bella, I know you probably can't talk right now, but can you hear me?"

A tiny movement of her head indicated that she'd heard him.

"You're safe now. I know you're frightened and in pain, and that it's hard to breathe, but I need you to remain as still as you possibly can. Edward will stay back here with you." His voice was the quiet calming one he used with patients, even those he knew he had no chance of saving. But this wasn't a patient, this was Bella's life…and mine. His eyes flashed to mine, and I heard him as he directed his thoughts to me again. _Keep her upright and still. I'll concentrate on getting us across the border, but tell me immediately if you need me._

I nodded once, and within the next few seconds, the Mercedes was in motion. Bella's head fell to rest in the crook between my neck and shoulder, and I saw her eyes roll back, looking for me. With her next faint breath, she tried to say my name.

"I'm here, love." _Please just keep breathing, please keep talking to me. Please please, don't let go of me._

A convulsive shudder shook her frame, but her voice was steady despite the lack of breath behind it. "Change…"

That was the moment I truly knew, I finally accepted that my Bella, my wife, would burn, suffer, and die in my arms. The heartbeat, the steady breathing I'd counted the seconds of our time together by… those would stop as I held her and watched her life end. A heartbeat was only a sound, breathing was only a motion…but the agony she suffered in the meantime was an unquantifiable infinite of pain that I couldn't measure, help, or sooth. From this point on, there was nothing I could do. "Yes love, you're changing. I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry…"

I heard my voice shake, and immediately resolved to be the strength she'd need in the hours and days ahead of us. I clenched my jaw and took a long careful breath before my next words. "We're going straight to Alaska. Carlisle is talking to Alice right now, to make sure we aren't stopped for any reason on the way there." I pressed a kiss to her temple. "We'll get there as fast as we can, love. Just hold onto me, listen to my voice. I'm not letting you go."

I could see her eyelashes flickering, and she arched away from me, staring at the Mercedes' roof. Blood vessels in both of her eyes had burst, and blotches of crimson surrounded the deep brown I knew so very well, the window into her soul. "Alice…"

Many questions immediately flooded my mind, but I forced them all back to consider at another time. All my mental and physical energy had to be focused on Bella for as long as she needed it to draw on. "Yes, she saw you. She didn't see until afterwards, and then she couldn't see where you were. I'm sorry I didn't get to you faster."

Her brow furrowed slightly at my words. The wound on her forehead prevented much movement, but there was frustration on her face. After a moment or two, she managed to pant out another word. "Wol…"

My first reaction was confusion. Had the wolves caused this? Had they set up the accident, preferring to see Bella dead than with us? Or was she worried about leaving them? No, surely not that. I drew back a little, so that her blood-speckled eyes could meet mine, and with that I heard just enough of her mind to truly understand what she meant. She was worried that the wolves would blame us for all of this.

I kissed her head, and then her temple again, holding onto the tenuous foothold into her mind that I'd gained by that eye contact. "You don't need to worry about the wolves, love. They don't know. Just be still and hold onto me."

**xoxoxoxo**

From that moment on, I sank into our world, Bella's and mine, and allowed Carlisle to worry about the long drive to Alaska. With Alice's help, we left the United States via a barely-monitored side road, and flew through Canada until a necessary refueling stop. After some whispered words of encouragement, Bella managed to hold herself completely still, a faint tremor her only movement until we were on the road again.

Carlisle drove a few miles outside of town before he pulled over to check on her. I could feel the overwhelming sense of relief flood his mind before he spoke aloud, reassuring us both that Bella had passed the danger point, that the venom had healed her wounds enough to allow the change to continue. The venom was in complete control of her mind and destiny now, it was simply a matter of time. And time was something we had an eternity of.

After a while, Bella's body ceased to thrash in my arms. Were it not for the immediate reassurances from Carlisle's mind, I would have panicked again. A few more refueling stops, another circuitous but uninterrupted border crossing, and still she lay unmoving in my arms. I still had just the barest grasp on her mind, but all I felt there was pain. And because there was nothing else I could do to comfort her, I simply hummed to her. All the songs she knew and loved, and the ones I knew and loved. The ones she hadn't heard yet, the ones I'd written for her.

When we finally arrived at the home outside of Wasilla, I gathered her still form in my arms and flew past my concerned family, needing only to get her alone and do what she'd asked me to do…to talk to her non-stop, whether she could hear me or not.

I ran up the stairs to the room that had been mine many years ago, the last time we'd stayed in this area. The bed was already made, and I carefully laid my wife down on the soft sheets, noting how she jerked when the cradle of my arms left her body. Someone…Alice, of course…had left a basin of hot water and a sponge beside the bed, along with a simple white dress.

Silently thanking my sister's thoughtfulness, I carefully stripped Bella's clothes from her motionless body, then used the sponge and water to wipe the dried blood away from her pale skin. The water in the basin was bright crimson by the time I'd finished, but now I could see that the wound on her head was almost completely gone, along with all the smaller cuts and bruises I'd counted repeatedly during the endless drive.

I gently brushed the mats out of her hair and then finally eased her into the white dress Alice had left. She didn't flinch or respond to my actions in any way, and I wondered if she was even cognizant of them.

When I was finally finished, Bella lay like a silent pale angel on the bed, her mahogany hair providing a shocking contrast to the white of her face and surprising red of her lips. Were I not a vampire, I probably wouldn't have been able to note the changes in her face already: the slight difference in the arch of her eyebrows and angle of her cheekbones. The beginning of bruise-like shadows under her closed eyes and the bowed curving of her lips.

I sighed and lay down beside her, drawing her into my arms with more assurance than I'd felt in hours. Except for a slight movement of her body into mine, she gave no indication of understanding. I wondered how much she was aware of at the moment.

There was only one thing that I could truly do, and that was wait. But she had asked me to talk to her, promising that she'd hear me in whatever far-off place she might be cringing away from the pain. Whether or not she'd actually hear me, I didn't know, but the warm throb in my chest assured me of one thing…she'd know I was there.

I closed my eyes, laying my cheek against the silk of her hair. And then, measuring the seconds by the cadence of my words, I began to talk. And I waited. Waiting for my Bella to come back to me.


End file.
